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Dealing With Anger Part 2

By Benjamin Cook

Republish: EasyPublish™
Published: 16Jan2010
Word count: 436
Viewed: 350 time(s)

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Do you get angry sometimes? That's okay - it's a natural reaction to certain situations. But is your reaction disproportionate? Are you like the man in Part 1. who exhibited excessive rage when an old clunker was as fast as his beautiful, new BMW? And behaved with uncontrollable aggression when he felt slighted?

If so, let's talk about how to fix it.

When you get angry it’s because, at some point in your life, showing aggression was the right thing to do - maybe because it kept you safe, maybe because it was your only option, maybe because it let you avoid something even worse.

Unfortunately, this extreme behaviour is habit forming but isn't always necessary, so here are some tips to help you calm down:

1. Breathe slowly and deeply, if you can feel yourself starting to breathe from higher up in your chest it’ll be easier for you to get stressed and angry, so breathe slowly from your belly.

2. Let your stomach pop out and avoid pushing your chest out. If you consciously control this ‘fight or flight’ reaction it’ll keep your adrenaline levels down and help you avoid getting angry and pumped up.

3. If you can, withdraw yourself from the situation, making a conscious decision to immediately leave the room or area when you find yourself getting more angry. If you cannot leave immediately (should you be in a car, for example, stuck in traffic) focus on something else - look away from whoever or whatever is infuriating you.

4. Imagine how you’d react to the provocative event if you’d just found out you'd won the lottery. Would you even care about someone else's behaviour under such circumstances?

5. Think about a colour that makes you calm (like natural greens or reds) and imagine standing in an environment full of those colours.

6. Take a deep breath and imagine yourself somewhere you feel calm - on a beach in the sun, curled up in an armchair with a roaring fire on a snowy day - ANYWHERE you have been or could imagine being, enjoying a calm, collected, relaxing atmosphere.

New behaviours need to be learnt, and sometimes it’ll take a little help to break those old, automatic and inadvertent ‘unconscious’ ways of behaving. Every time you react a certain way, you’re reinforcing that pattern, even if it feels like trying to eat a donut without licking your lips the first few times!

Rest assured with a little practice it will get much easier to have more control and more confidence in your own reactions to situations that made you angry before.

www.benjamincook.co.uk Benjamin Cook is an NLP Practitioner and Hypnotherapist in Glasgow specialising in anger management, phobia cure, smoking cessation and personal coaching

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