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How To Build Confidence In Your Child

By Cheng Cheng Tan

Republish: EasyPublish™
Published: 12Feb2007
Word count: 601
Viewed: 414 time(s)

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I believe that the most important thing a parent can give a child is confidence and self-esteem. All the degrees and certificates are useless if a child lacks self-confidence. With self-esteem, a child will be able to try new things and venture out on his own. He will not be easily influenced by others because he knows what he is doing is right.

On the other hand, a child who lacks self-esteem will be constantly seeking for approval by his parents and peers before he tries anything new. There is fear within him that he may not be accepted by others around him.

Here are some tips to build self confidence in the child:

- Encourage the child to do things on his own. It does not matter even if he does it wrongly(as long as he is in a safe environment). The most important thing is to let him try and he will definitely gain confidence after gaining some success. He will gain confidence and want to try out more and do more. He becomes aware that he can do more if he tries and my even make some mistakes.

- Focus on his strengths and not his weakness. It is understandable that as parents that we want the best for our children. However, we have to be aware that every child is special and different. Though Mathematics is very important, the child may not like it at all. Instead of forcing him to sit down and listen, try to incorporate Maths with something that he likes e.g. music. This will lower his resistance towards learning Maths and he may think of better ideas to learn maths with music too. You never know how creative they can be.

-Praise your child when he does something well. Children are constantly looking for approval. Parents are usually critical because it is easier to point out mistakes. Just be aware and remember that children (just like anybody else) prefer to listen to positive things.

-Differentiate the child from his behaviour. If parents are unhappy with the child's behaviour, tell the child. We need to reinforce that we still love the child but not the behaviour. The child needs to know that parents still love them after being punished. Children do not mind being being punished because they did something wrongly but they need to know that their parents still love them. Tell your kids that you love them and do not assume they know. Tell them that you love them even when you punish them.

-Let him learn a new skill when he is ready. These include learning to use the scissors, needle up to learning multiplication tables. Different skills builds the childs confidence in different areas of his life. We need to build up his social skills on how to make friends, motor skills as in how to use the scissors, fork and knife. Others include literacy skills and numeracy skill. Each has to be taken one step at a time. This includes letting him try new things.

-Create chances for them to speak up in front of the family. This can help in public speaking and their confidence in public in general. Start by doing this at home. Once they can overcome the fear of speaking in front of the family, you can extend to your friends and relatives. Start somewhere. You could even let them start by talking to another sibling or in the toilet. Encourage them to speak up and you can learn about what they are thinking about as well.

Try out these tips first!

Cheng Cheng is a parenting expert with two boys age 5 and 6. She has learnt a lot from books and other mothers. She hopes to share her experiences and knowledge which will definitely be useful to you. For more tips on parenting and raising kids, go to http://www.raisingconfidentkids.com

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