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Counseling - What Relationship Trouble Is - and What It Is Not

By Chris Keenan

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 01Oct2010 Word count: 446 Viewed: 320 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

At some point everyone who dates or gets married has relationship trouble. Friction between a couple is normal, but too much can be hazardous to the health of the relationship. What hinders a person when their relationship sours is a state of confusion. People find it difficult to understand what they're going through even if they've gone through relationship troubles before. There are patterns in relationships though. Whether they're going good or not, there are patterns that can be understood so a person can gain some much needed perspective and not feel like they're drowning.

It is disappointing and painful. Each of us has expectations for marriage and dating relationships. When they aren't met it can be difficult to accept because reality is so far from what we'd expected. It's not uncommon for a person's biggest relationship challenge to be related to learning to accept their situation for what it is. Learning to not sugar coat it, while at the same time remain hopeful that there can be a solution.

It is not something that you are alone in. Unfortunately, relationship trouble is normal and experienced by all people. This is important to recognize. Many times when relationship troubles get more frequent and problematic, people often feel like they are all alone in their struggles. They are not.

It is something you can get a lot of relief from. There are skills you can learn to help you minimize and eliminate many of the common relationship troubles that plague people.

It is not the case that there is something wrong with you, some sort of fatal flaw. The feeling of being alone and the feeling that there is something inherently wrong with you are the two most common feelings people have when their relationship troubles start to feel like they're going to overwhelm them. People from all walks of life are working through challenging marriage and dating situations similar and in many cases almost identical to the ones you're working through.

It is predictable. We are creatures of habit and as a result our behaviour follows patterns. There are generally no more than a couple core issues that hinder each person in a marriage or dating relationship. From these core issues spring forth many other issues. If the core issue is correctly identified and successfully worked on, a whole host of other problems will be resolved.

It is not often easy to deal with, a walk in the park. Dealing with conflict and negotiating differences can be quite taxing. We are often surprised at how much energy is needed to be a good mate. This includes learning new and different ways of relating to each other.

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