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Are You Ready To Forgive Your Husband For Having An Affair?

By D Campbell

Republish: EasyPublish™
Published: 25Nov2011
Word count: 1716
Viewed: 137 time(s)

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In spite of the fact your husband had an affair you are not ready to throw in the towel on the relationship. The two of you have been through a great deal together and for better or worse your feelings for him remain strong.

However there is an obstacle to rebuilding the foundations of your marriage. His betrayal shattered the trust that had been built all these years. It was also a moment of devastating humiliation as you came to the reality your unfaithful husband made a fool of you and a mockery of the entire relationship.

Yes he said he was sorry and begged repeatedly for you to forgive him. Your spouse may have also taken the steps to repair the damage by seeking counseling and working to be more open and honest with you. It has become obvious from what you observed that he really is trying to make things better. He acknowledges that there is no way to rewrite the past but he loves you and has no wish to see the marriage come to an end.

But the reality is your husband had an affair and at this point in time you are not ready to forgive him and you have no idea if that time will ever arise. Yes your feelings for him are strong but that does not mean you are ready to accept his apology.

Anger and hurt of what they put you through as well as the humiliation is still fresh in your mind. Every time you try to move past it something springs up to remind you all over again. Also the thought occurs to you that your spouse may take your forgiveness as a means of sanctioning their actions. It is not of course but you have no guarantee that they will not.

If you are not ready to forgive your unfaithful husband then start out by accepting what happened. Accept the feelings you have. Pain, confusion and rage are all part of it. Do not run from them otherwise you will never forgive your husband. Instead acknowledge them as well as understanding your marriage will never be the same. After infidelity occurs there is no putting the genie back in the bottle. No part of your relationship will be what it once was.

Accept that there is no magic day on the horizon. The golden moment when you never have doubt or pain ever again over what your unfaithful husband did. It does not work that way. It could be years later and your spouse and you have really done a good job of rebuilding the marriage when out of the blue you think about what they did and some negative thoughts come back on you. That's life. Once you accept it you will be able to deal with these emotions a lot better.

The reality is your husband had an affair Acceptance does not condone this. But what it can do is slowly but surely clear the path so that you can forgive and begin your healing.

For more information on making it through an extramarital relationship go to survive an affair

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