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Dating: The Keys to Creating The Love You Desire

By David Essel

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Published: 12Jun2009
Word count: 693
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If you want to become more at peace in the world of dating, you will have to begin to actually love the challenge of dating. I know at first this may seem like an insane concept, but let me explain.

My client enters the office this week, throws down her purse and screams, "I hate this dating crap!!! All of it!!!!".

It seems she was stood up 2 weeks in a row, a very uncomfortable feeling indeed. The words "men are all dogs......society sucks....everyone sucks"...continued to pour out of her mouth.

I sat with an internal grin, which she obviously felt for in a few minutes she was laughing and crying at the same time.

I shared with her the concept of accepting that this was simply a part of the world of dating, and the world in general. We will be let down at times. We will get rejected at times.

And if we can at first accept this concept, and then go to the point of loving it, our lives will be much less stressed.

So how do we actually love being stood up? This was something she was dying to hear, and a bit skeptical about my potential answer, I might add.

"It's easy. First, the reason these men stood you up is because they were not the right ones for you. God, or the Universe, is very wise in helping us to meet the people we are actually supposed to date. We can love the fact that these men did not show up because we have just possibly avoided a pain in the butt relationship!! Let's love the fact they were a no-show!"

She was instantly feeling the facts behind my words. It's not that instantly we will feel great about someone not showing up, or not calling, or lying to us about something. But with this philosophy of trusting that all is truly in place, we can learn to feel, then let go of the disappointment quickly.

Which of course opens us up to meeting people much more suited for us. Loving the challenges that come with the world of dating diminishes the chance of long held anger or resentments. Which opens our heart to love.

Slow down, love whatever occurs, then make sure to set the healthy boundaries that you will and will not accept in the wonderful world of dating.

"So, if people do not call when they say they will, do you give them a second chance? Is that the same as a physical no-show for coffee or a drink?"

"I feel very frustrated with the number of women who lead you to believe they are interested in dating, then disappear. Without a return call, with no answer. After 1 or 2 meetings, they kiss you and tell you how much they loved the date,then poof!! You never get a response! What the hell is that???"

As you read the above responses from other clients I have worked with and are in the "dating pool", you've probably experienced the same frustration. If you're not in the game, you're probably thinking "Thank God!!"

Let's look at my first response, that no shows of any kind are truly a blessing, that these people were not right for you.

Now, also think of this. Often times our outer world is a reflection of our inner thoughts. So, if you do not trust men, or women, you may be getting this "poor treatment" by others as a reflection of your inner thoughts. You'll have to do some inner work to see what your real beliefs are. Do that now, and be brutally honest with yourself.

And, make sure that you are not treating others, even subconsciously, as you are being treated.

Make sure your word to EVERYONE is solid. Make sure that you do what you say you will at all times.

Last, if how someone treats you does not feel right, let them go. Quickly.

The keys to creating the love you desire begins with your approach to the world of dating. If you get off on the right foot here, the rest will fall into place.

David Essel, Master Life, Business and Spiritual Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author, Adjunct Professor and Radio/TV Host empowers people to take charge of their lives, positively affecting the lives of many through his motivational lectures, television segments, and his belief that health is not just from the neck down. How can you create an exceptional life by honoring your mind, body and soul? Visit his website at: http://www.davidessel.com

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