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Articles by Dr Jeanne King PhD

  • Healing Domestic Violence By Proxy - How to Love in The Context of An Unhealed Injury
    If you and your children are victims of domestic violence by proxy, you know one of the deepest human injuries. Your greatest challenge in healing this wound is to allow yourself to feel the ache of it in the course of your loving your alienated child...or parent. Read on to learn how to inspire healing and rebuilding with your estranged loved one.
    Published 14Feb2012, viewed 4 times
  • Child Abuse Custody - The Glory and the Horror of Being a Whistle Blower
    What often happens to people that come to the rescue of a domestic violence victim is that they step into the wrath of the perpetrator. Read on to learn about the double edge sword of shining the light on child abuse and the custody complications that can arise.
    Published 01Feb2012, viewed 6 times
  • Domestic Violence by Proxy - Why Doesn't Abusive Control End?
    Why doesn't it end, ask domestic abuse survivors worldwide. That's like questioning, why doesn't cancer end after it has been diagnosed. Herein lies the answer. It has only been diagnosed. Without proper intervention, domestic violence by proxy progresses in one direction…it continues and it escalates. Read on to see examples of how and why.
    Published 20Jan2012, viewed 8 times
  • Abuse and Control - When Abusers Become Victims in Court, in Community and at Home
    It is quite common for an abuser to perpetuate abuse and control by seeking to establish that you are the perpetrator and he/she is the victim. Sometimes this pattern happens in open court, other times in the police station or behind the closed doors of your own home. Read on to learn more about the perpetrator flip abuser characteristic.
    Published 23Jan2012, viewed 7 times
  • Abuse and Control - The Conquest of Bending Your Will to Care for Yourself
    Have you ever noticed how some people enjoy the conquest of you surrendering what's right for you to doing what they want you to do? It is as though there is a pleasure in the "abuse and control win" in and of itself. The "win" being that you are serving them over taking care of yourself.
    Published 19Jan2012, viewed 13 times
  • Healing Parental Alienation - 3 Keys to a Successful Reunion with Your Adult Children
    Tipping the healing boat begins from the inside out...as does any other growth process. This may sound like a vague and mild statement, but its implementation and its implications for healing parental alienation and parent-child estrangement are huge. Here are three keys to a successful reunion with your alienated adult children.
    Published 18Dec2011, viewed 41 times
  • Abusive Relationship Signs - You MUST Give Me What I Want!
    "I want what I want because I want it, and I'm not letting up until you give it to me. I will badger you even when you are not aware (so I think) to wear you down into submission." If you are in an abusive relationship, I know you know this one. It's the relentless pursuit of what your partner seeks irrespective of your wishes.
    Published 29Sep2011, viewed 91 times
  • Abuse and Divorce - What Role Will Your Psychologist Serve in Your Divorce?
    You think your psychologist will help you in your abuse and divorce case, and your attorney expects your psychologist to help him/her. Unfortunately, your psychologist and your attorney do not share the same perspective on what that "help" looks like. Sound familiar?
    Published 11Sep2011, viewed 92 times
  • Verbal Abuse in Marriage - The Key to Nonviolent Communication in Marriage
    I recently had the pleasure of meeting Don Miguel Ruiz and was touched by the potency, yet simplicity, of his message. Then, with further reflect on his "The Four Agreements," I see significant application to breaking the cycle of spousal abuse in domestic abuse therapy.
    Published 30Aug2011, viewed 114 times
  • Legal Domestic Abuse - When the Length of Your Divorce Litigation Is Lethal
    One of the ploys commonly used in domestic violence divorce proceedings is called "scorched-earth." It's intended to prolong the process and starve out the economically un-empowered litigant. It's a very effective legal domestic abuse strategy. Here's why and herein lies why it's lethal.
    Published 21Aug2011, viewed 79 times
  • Domestic Abuse and Alcohol Abuse - Who Is Abandoning Whom?
    In cases with alcohol abuse, couples frequently show up in domestic abuse treatment with false beliefs about one another. And these beliefs are often the trigger for their domestic disputes. Or, these beliefs can be the rough spots that prevent long-term relationship repair.
    Published 22Jul2011, viewed 84 times
  • Domestic Violence - Victim's Nightmares Become Survivor's Triggers
    Domestic abuse survivors encounter experiences that bring to life their prior victimization. It can be so real for them that they believe they are "that person" again. Read on to discover the key to healing from domestic abuse.
    Published 20Jul2011, viewed 108 times
  • Elderly Battered Wives - The 5 Key Concerns Troubling Older Abused Women
    If you think being battered as a young adult is complicated, image the same set of dynamics superimposed on the aging body and compromised health of elderly battered wives. Read on to learn the five key concerns troubling this underserved population of older abused women.
    Published 03Jul2011, viewed 62 times
  • Eliminating Controlling People - Ask Me Until You Wear Me Down
    Have you noticed how some people will ask you to do something and you tell them "no," you can't do that on that day. And then they ask you again and again...and again. Read on for insights on eliminating controlling people.
    Published 21Jun2011, viewed 116 times
  • Spousal Abuse/Partner Abuse - Does Your Spouse Talk At or Talk With You?
    In providing spousal abuse help/domestic abuse counseling to couples in abusive relationships, I have noticed a subtle yet significant communication pattern that alerts me to the underlying dynamics of partner abuse moment-to-moment. I call it "talking at" vs. "talking with" your partner.
    Published 14Jun2011, viewed 86 times
  • Verbal Emotional Abuse - How to Get Out of the Line of Fire
    Your spouse is angry about God only knows what and there you are in the line of fire. Here are some things you can do to help you get out of the line of fire when verbal and emotional abuse erupts in your home.
    Published 27May2011, viewed 58 times
  • When "We" Means Losing Me - 5 Signs of a Controlling Relationship
    When I show up for you, "inception" becomes the order of the day in our controlling relationship. It's as though you expect your thoughts to become my thoughts. And I struggle with having to decide, "Will it be we or me?" Sound familiar?
    Published 07Apr2011, viewed 139 times
  • Controlling Husbands - 3 Signs of a Controlling Husband in Bed
    There are some very subtle yet distinct behaviors that controlling husbands exhibit in bed. Sometimes it is hard to know whether these are sexual signs of a controlling husband or idiosyncrasies of your intimate partner. However, when you see these signs in combination, beware...
    Published 31Mar2011, viewed 348 times
  • Domestic Abuse Counseling - Turning Your Abusive Relationship Shame Into Change
    The "shame of knowing all along" is an inner burden experienced by many domestic violence survivors. They see the signs of domestic abuse in the beginning, yet progress deeper and deeper into the relationship. Read on to explore turning your shame into change through domestic violence intervention.
    Published 18Jan2011, viewed 97 times
  • Domestic Violence and Custody - Child Abuse and the Replay Button
    The next worst thing to being abused is retelling the story of family violence over and over, again and again in the context of a custody dispute. Is it the repetition of the trauma without therapeutic intervention? Or, is it the polarization of the child? Or, is it both?
    Published 04Jan2011, viewed 90 times
  • Parental Alienation Signs - 3 Red Flags of Parental Alienation Syndrome
    Parental alienation is hard to understand... It seems unconscionable that someone would position your own flesh and blood to perceive you as his or her enemy. Here are some basic signs of parental alienation that you will want to be aware of if you suspect this is happening to you and your children.
    Published 18Dec2010, viewed 486 times
  • Domestic Mental Abuse - The Silencing of Battered Women and Abused Men
    The easiest way to silence a victim of domestic violence is to establish that they are mentally and emotionally defective or just back them into a criminal charge. For over ten years I have noticed that battered women are more likely to be silenced by being psychologically pathologized, and battered men by being criminalized.
    Published 12Dec2010, viewed 156 times
  • Domestic Violence Counseling - Who Are the Real Abusers and the Real Victims?
    Sometimes things are not as they seem when it comes to domestic violence counseling. On the outside looking in, one might think the striking person is the "real" abuser in the relationship. Read on for insight into the distinction between outward aggression and abusive control.
    Published 24Nov2010, viewed 171 times
  • Domestic Violence Divorce - The Cobra Batterer, Child Custody Seeker
    Have you ever noticed how some abusers will fight you to the end for custody and others give it up and walk away? Now this observation may be contrary to common understanding by those in the domestic violence divorce circles but, from the clinical perspective, these are the trends.
    Published 24Nov2010, viewed 179 times
  • Child Abuse Custody - When Psychiatrics and Family Law Collide
    "My child is being abused at her father's home. When she reaches out to mental health and I reach out to my attorney, all hell breaks lose and the helpers can't tell what's really going on." Read on for insights on child custody and domestic violence.
    Published 27Sep2010, viewed 124 times
  • Spousal Emotional Abuse - How to Break the Cycle of Financial Control
    "Here's your monthly allowance, dear... I will decide how you spend it?" Financial control is the customary name for this form of spousal emotional abuse. It's one of the popular power and control tactics used to foster dependency and dominance in intimate relationships. Read on to learn about this dynamic and how you can break the cycle.
    Published 27Sep2010, viewed 94 times
  • Intimate Partner Homicide - Domestic Violence as an Accident on Purpose
    We hear about it and see it on the news routinely: "Man kills woman."..."It was an accident." If you are watching news of an intimate partner homicide, be mindful to separate criminal law from personal responsibility when domestic violence is in play.
    Published 31Aug2010, viewed 153 times
  • Domestic Violence Self Help - How to Find Your Answers from Within
    There are no "right" or "wrong" answers when it comes to domestic violence. Each situation is as unique as each person living it. You heard me. There are as many variations to this story as there are people living it. So, don't let anyone tell you what you "should" or "shouldn't" do.
    Published 21Aug2010, viewed 116 times
  • Domestic Abuse Treatment - The Right Help for an Abusive Relationship
    "When you pressure me, you lose me. And instead you get yourself and the illusion that you won me over." Sound like a familiar abusive relationship sign that needs domestic abuse treatment? Read on to learn more about winning and losing the tug-of-wars in abusive relationships.
    Published 18Aug2010, viewed 105 times
  • Domestic Violence Divorce - The Key to Legal-Psychiatric Abuse Prevention
    Battered mothers frequently lose sight of the dynamics of legal abuse, fail to identify the actual players and remain completely unaware of how to block legal-psychiatric ploys in their domestic violence divorce. Read on to learn the key to protecting yourself and your children.
    Published 12Aug2010, viewed 111 times
  • Abusive Relationship Signs - Unilateral Decision Making in Abusive Relationships
    People experiencing abusive relationship signs tell me that they frequently have no say in couple's decisions. Instead, they have a routine charade of "getting her consent" when the fact is what she really does is give up on holding her own. Read on to learn more about one of the subtle abusive relationship signs.
    Published 20Jul2010, viewed 234 times
  • Emotional Abuse Divorce - How to Navigate a System Used by an Abuser to Control
    Battered mothers tell me about the rage they harbor over their perpetrators use of the system to batter them. The victim knows that the emotional abuse in divorce is no different than the use of his fist or his verbal licks at home. It's merely a weapon of assault used to batter and control them.
    Published 05Jun2010, viewed 162 times
  • Healing Emotional Abuse - Boundary Issues of Domestic Violence
    The progressive dismantling of personal boundaries is what keeps domestic violence survivors safe while living in an abusive relationship. Read on to learn more about boundary issues and healing emotional abuse.
    Published 29May2010, viewed 184 times
  • Verbal Emotional Abuse - Attitudes and Actions of Verbally Abusive Partners
    When we think of verbal emotional abuse, we envision the name-calling and slanderous character attacks common in emotionally abusive relationships. However, these actions, while painful in and of themselves, are only a small part of the emotional verbal abuse. Read on to understand the attitudinal component of verbal emotional abuse.
    Published 26May2010, viewed 302 times
  • Domestic Abuse Treatment - Changing Your Partner in an Abusive Relationship
    Couples in domestic abuse treatment get hung up on controlling each other's recovery. They each make a decision to make their relationship work and then, they place their focus on the other's therapeutic process and progress. Read on and recognize why you want to shift your focus.
    Published 23May2010, viewed 121 times
  • Domestic Violence Child Custody - The Psychiatric Sword
    Divorce and child custody proceedings are fertile ground for flinging psychiatric swords, particularly when domestic violence is before the court. If you are a domestic abuse survivor in family court, you either know what I mean or will know before it's over. Read on and become proactive in your preventing or offsetting injury.
    Published 01May2010, viewed 192 times
  • Domestic Violence and Child Custody - Abuser's Use of Mental Healthcare to Discredit Survivors
    A common theme for battered mothers in divorce proceedings is that they begin thinking they are holding the winning hand when it comes to domestic violence and child custody. Then, "out of the blue," the tide turns and their children are pulled right from under them—handed over to the custody of their father who is, more often than not, an abuser.
    Published 19Apr2010, viewed 673 times
  • Domestic Violence Divorce - How Abusers Use the System to Invalidate Domestic Violence Survivors
    Victims of domestic violence reach out to the system for help in stopping the abuse perpetrated upon them. Yet, abusers frequently manipulate the legal and healthcare helpers to aid them in establishing false claims about the domestic abuse survivors. Read on to learn more about domestic violence divorce and the manipulation of the legal and mental healthcare system.
    Published 03Apr2010, viewed 203 times
  • Emotional Psychological Abuse: Who Knows What's Best for You?
    "I know what's best for you...better than you do." Sound familiar? If you are in a relationship that has emotional psychological abuse, you know this message. It says, "You need to trust my wisdom—over your own—regarding issues specific to you." Read on to learn about outgrowing the confines of an abusive relationship?
    Published 25Mar2010, viewed 215 times
  • Domestic Abuse Therapy - 4 Fundamental Steps to Dismantling Your Partner's Denial
    You may be longing for help with domestic abuse, yet your partner is in complete denial. Clients often enter domestic abuse therapy with a highly developed sense of denial and resistance to acknowledging their abusive behavior. And over time, accountability takes over. Here's how the progression occurs...
    Published 26Mar2010, viewed 311 times
  • Domestic Violence Therapy: When Marital Therapy Helps and When It Hurts
    There is a lot of confusion over whether marital/couples therapy will help couples in abusive relationships. That is, can it be an effective domestic violence therapy? Read on to learn when and with whom marital therapy works and the abusive situations for which it will not interrupt the cycle of domestic abuse.
    Published 01Mar2010, viewed 275 times
  • Abused Husbands - 5 Keys to Healing for Battered Men and Abusive Wives
    Abused husbands frequently recoil from looking at their circumstances because they assume doing so will result in leaving their abusive partner. Here are some important things to consider if you truly want to salvage your marriage and keep your family together.
    Published 25Feb2010, viewed 157 times
  • Domestic Abuse Treatment - Getting Your Needs Met Covertly or Overtly
    When domestic violence survivors become aware of their habit of throwing a deaf ear to their innermost needs and desires, a shift occurs in which they authentically reconnect with themselves. Read on to learn more about dual domestic abuse treatment.
    Published 17Feb2010, viewed 147 times
  • Battered and Abused Men - Domestic Violence Is Genderless
    If we are to end domestic abuse, it is our responsibility to address intimate partner violence in all of its forms, including that of female batterers as well as male batterers. Read on to recognize domestic abuse as a genderless human condition afflicting battered and abused men.
    Published 23Jan2010, viewed 171 times
  • Battered Husbands - The Shame of Being Abused by Your Female Spouse
    Shame is part and parcel to any experience that you indulge or endure, wherein you think others would think less of you if they only knew. It's the pervasive feeling for battered husbands and men who are abused by their female partners.
    Published 12Jan2010, viewed 165 times
  • Battered Women - When Mature Women Leave Abusive Relationships
    How it is for the mature woman in an abusive relationship, and how it is for her when she leaves? While the abuse dynamic is virtually the same irrespective of life years, the domestic violence survivor's experience may be quite different depending on her age.
    Published 23Nov2009, viewed 313 times
  • Legal Psychiatric/Psychological Abuse - From Family to Court, from Court to Shrink
    "Once your abusive partner has used the legal system for further abuse, and final papers are filed with you having to see a psychologist of his choosing, how do you turn the case around? He continues to threaten to take the children away." Read on to learn what you must know before the real psychological abuse and damage is done.
    Published 05Nov2009, viewed 243 times
  • Shedding Domestic Violence Survivor Habits: Who's Fault Is It?
    Much of the time what people do to us is not about us; it's all about them. But, when on the receiving end, especially for domestic violence survivors, one doesn't see it that way. We assume it is because of us. Here are some things you will want to do in relationships that are not abusive in order to keep harmony.
    Published 12Oct2009, viewed 234 times
  • Legal Abuse Syndrome - Lessons from Knowing You Are in a System
    "You are in a system." These five words explain the nightmare that battered women encounter in divorce court. Yet, in and of themselves, these words confuse them. Read on to learn about the legal-psychiatric divorce system.
    Published 05Oct2009, viewed 1262 times
  • Spousal Legal Abuse -- Sticks and Stones in Family Court
    I hear battered women's outrage over what their opposition says about them in divorce court. They take it to heart and integrate the slanderous comments as though they really are the picture painted by the other side. You must understand what is said about you in court is NOT about you; rather it's about your opposition's strategy to carry out their agenda.
    Published 23Sep2009, viewed 228 times
  • Domestic Abuse Divorce - 3 Keys to Working within the System
    People say that the system doesn't work. What I see is people not working the system to their advantage. This is especially true for battered women in divorce court. Here are a few pointers to help you improve the way the system works and the way you work the system.
    Published 16Sep2009, viewed 225 times
  • Legal Abuse - Does the System Not Work, or Do You Not Know How to Work the System?
    Battered women and uninformed bystanders frequently say that the system doesn't work. While it may not be perfect, it most certainly works. The real problem is most people in divorce court with abuse don't know how to work the system. Here are a few things you will want to do as you navigate the system.
    Published 12Sep2009, viewed 245 times
  • Domestic Abuse Help - Why Marital Therapy Is Not the Treatment of Choice
    Battered women who have not yet declared themselves as domestic violence victims, but know that their partners are abusive, have many questions when it comes to therapy. Learn what you can expect from marital therapy for domestic abuse before you begin.
    Published 15Aug2009, viewed 176 times
  • Divorce and Abuse - Covering Your Bases When Domestic Violence Is in Divorce Court
    All too often domestic violence survivors use all of their financial resources to hire an attorney and then come to find they have nothing left to secure a professional advocate that remains on their side. Read on to learn the importance of your securing professional advocacy that is un-entangled in the system that you are navigating.
    Published 24Jul2009, viewed 242 times
  • Domestic Violence Counseling: When the Counselor Becomes Your Enemy
    Domestic abuse victims expect to seek therapeutic remedy for the dysfunction that they live, and they discover they have gained another "enemy" in marital couples therapy. Here are some things you will want to know if you are going to a therapist with your partner for domestic violence counseling.
    Published 21Jul2009, viewed 322 times
  • Mothers Without Custody: Grieving the Loss of Your Stolen Children
    One of the most crippling life losses is the loss of a child to legal domestic abuse. There is no right or wrong way to be relative to the horrific loss of a child to improper legal maneuvering. There is only the fact—the reality that it is. And it is not uncommon.
    Published 17Jul2009, viewed 219 times
  • Psychological Abuse: Mental Illness by Layman's Declaration
    Many battered women and abused men have a layman's psychiatric label attached to the core of their self-perception. It is a mental illness label typically bestowed upon them by their battering partner or by allies supporting his/her plight to save face and to discredit and silence the abused. Read on to learn how to handle this layman's declaration of your mental illness.
    Published 14Jun2009, viewed 232 times
  • Family Court Violence and Crazy-Making Maneuvers
    If I tell you that you are "crazy" and threaten to punish you in divorce court because of what I have said, a part of you begins to question that maybe what I have alleged is true. Read on to see crazy-making maneuvers of family court violence.
    Published 29May2009, viewed 269 times
  • PAS - Truths and Misconceptions about Parental Alienation
    Parental alienation has devastating effects to both child and estranged parent. The more we understand the trends of this human violation, the easier it is for us to remedy its impact. Read on to learn about PAS when domestic violence is before the court and when it is not.
    Published 07Mar2009, viewed 244 times
  • Domestic Violence Prevention Is the Cure
    While common sense tells us that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, we still have not applied this to domestic violence. And then we scratch our heads and say, "What made him do that?" Read on to learn how domestic violence prevention is the cure.
    Published 16Feb2009, viewed 197 times
  • Domestic Violence Divorce: Legal Psychiatric Rape
    When a victim leaves a battering relationship and moves out OR speaks out, is she safe? Not necessarily so. Read on to learn why...and what you'll want to know to increase your safety on your way out of the abusive relationship.
    Published 04Feb2009, viewed 233 times
  • Abusive Relationships and Self-Care: The Impact of Meditation on Abusive Relationships
    One of the hardest things for an abuser is to sit back and take pleasure in, or even show tolerance for, your indulging in something that enhances your sense of self and inner well being when it comes to something or someone beyond your partner. Ever wondered why? In this discussion of meditation and abusive relationships, you will see why.
    Published 15Dec2008, viewed 273 times
  • After the Abusive Relationship - Long-Term Aid for Domestic Abuse Survivors
    Domestic abuse recovery is traditionally about taking care of the immediate crisis needs for domestic abuse survival. Look to the long-term needs and see how they can be satisfied by doing what "you're called to do," and discover what you will need to develop in order to do that.
    Published 29Oct2008, viewed 249 times
  • Domestic Violence and Child Custody - Legal Psychiatric Ploys of Divorce Lawyers
    If you're in family court with divorce and domestic abuse before the court, hold on and brace yourself for the ride of your life. There are numerous legal psychiatric ploys commonly used by divorce lawyers to help their clients maintain control over the family. Read on to see some of their strategies. And learn to block these ploys before they spiral out of control.
    Published 13Oct2008, viewed 306 times
  • Domestic Violence and Child Custody - From the Frying Pan to the Fire of Family Violence
    One of the most dangerous myths about family violence is the presumption that family court will protect victims of domestic abuse. But the fact is this court can be used as a vehicle for the continuation of the battering dynamic. Read on to learn how and what you'll want to know to protect yourself and your children.
    Published 29Sep2008, viewed 399 times
  • Family Violence - Cognitive Dissidence and the Puppet Child
    The saddest part of family violence and the legal abuse syndrome is the impact on children, both on them and within them. When a child is severed from their protective parent--a silent epidemic--life for this child is never the same. Read on to learn how and why.
    Published 01Sep2008, viewed 375 times

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