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Domestic Abuse Prevention - The Curse and the Glory of the Violence Trigger

By Dr Jeanne King PhD

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 25Oct2011 Word count: 461 Viewed: 70 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

Batterers are often unaware of what sends them into their rants. And when the episode is over, it becomes a blur with the golden nugget left in the confusion.

The Curse of the Trigger

The golden nugget is the trigger, and recognizing it is key to domestic abuse prevention. In working with batterers, I've noticed that the clearer they are on the thoughts and feelings leading up to the altercation, the easier it is for them to break the cycle of abuse.

That emotional mental experience is what we call the trigger, and it is their curse when it goes unnoticed. It's the felt sensation that sends them into a spree of escalating violations toward their partners.

The Glory of the Trigger

When these men and women can identify the experience of their triggers well in advance of them igniting, abuse can be prevented. They use these triggers to alert them to take an action that redirects the energy and this prevents the violence.

So in many respects you may think of these triggers as both a curse and a glories gift. Unnoticed they are what get abusers in trouble. And recognized, they are the saintly messages that save the day.

Identifying and Working with Your Triggers

The concept of triggers is common to most of us. We know that certain experiences set us off in specific directions. And with closer attention, we can even identify the thoughts and subtle feelings underlying these "trigger" experiences. We can use our awareness of these experiences to remind us to find the thought inspiring it, put it to inquiry, and dramatically shift the pattern.

For example, let's say that you perceive your partner as being ignorant. You know that you have a low tolerance for dummies and the mere taste of their stupidity has the potential to spin off into a verbal rant...physical alteration...or both. If you use the thought of her/him being "ignorant" to inspire a shift in your activity, you create the opening you need to do the inquiry.

Time-out, Inquiry and Domestic Abuse Prevention

Now, I realize that at first glance this may sound simplistic, because it is simply is... Imagine, removing yourself just before the heat of the moment...shifting the energy and freeing the attention to reflect back.

What do you see? When done properly, you will experience yourself interrupting the habitual-reflex and instead challenging your own thoughts...rather than your partner. In the final analysis you could discover that the war was not between you and them, rather it was between your false, "ignorant" thinking and yourself.

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