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Why Aren't You Happy?

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Published: 31Jan2009
Word count: 598
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Recently I read in "Psychology Today" that in the year 2000 there were 50 books written about happiness. Now during the year of 2008, Barnes and Noble reported that 4000 books have been published on happiness. So what is going on? The years from 2000 to early 2008 were the boom years, the "Roaring 2000's" as they say, so why is everyone writing about happiness? Doesn't prosperity and abundance make you happy?

I can't explain what is going on with everyone, but it certainly proves that it's not just prosperity that makes someone happy. So let me take you to another level that is even more important on this issue and I am going to use an incident with my daughter and my wife to explain.

This past year was a difficult one for our family because our two dogs, who have been with us for over 10 years, both had to be put down. Our first one was a beautiful female Bernese Mountain dog named Kita. Our second dog was a 180 lbs male Newfoundland named Mac, a knucklehead in every sense of the word but dearly beloved by us all especially my daughter.

Newfoundlands are big dogs and loved to be hugged, kissed and even at 180 pounds will try to sit in your lap if you let them. At his age he was suffering and we were advised to let him go, so we did.

Recently my daughter was asked if she wanted a friend to come over with their dog. We are a dog family and love dogs so I was surprised when she said she just couldn't do it. Then it came out that she still so grieved over Mac that right now she didn't even want to think about dogs.

Some might say, "The best way to get over it is just go find another dog, just forget it and be happy". And that is what a lot of people have tried to do with many areas of life today whether it was about a dog or not. But there is another element to this that many don't understand. You see I really don't have the right to tell my daughter how to feel, or to "just be happy".

I first learned this from my wife many years ago after she had breast cancer and I just wanted her to heal up and be happy again. Losing a breast didn't make her any less beautiful or wonderful in my eyes, I just wanted her happy. She told me that while she was thankful for my love there was still some pain in her heart that she needed to deal with on her terms, just like my daughter and her beloved Mac.

God explains this very clearly in Proverbs 14:10a "The heart knoweth his own bitterness;..." You see only the heart of a person can really know how they feel and what they need to do about it. So it's not my place to say, "just be happy". There is a way to get over that bitterness, to let it go, to release it for good and move on and God has given us the ability to do so once we learn how, but only that person can do it and only when they are ready.

So even though I want my family to always be happy, I should never make light of their pain or grief, but just let them know that I love them and that when they are ready to let it go, I'll be there to help them.

Duke Clarke is a writer/coach/speaker who for the past 35 years has been teaching individual how to excel and be successful according to God's principles and a biblical point of view. To find out more information go to http://www.EmbraceorErase.com or http://www.DukeClarke.com

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