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Dating the inner game

By Eileen Edwards

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 27Apr2009 Word count: 596 Viewed: 231 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

Have you read, "Slum dog Millionaire", or maybe seen the film? It's a great story isn't it and one that people all over the world can relate to. When its author Vikas Swarup was asked why he thought it was so popular he replied that we all like to see a winner particularly one who starts of as an underdog.

You have probably heard the expression the "inner game" which can be applied to golf, tennis, business or relationships. It's basically about how our inner mental state effects what we experience in our daily lives. Years ago I read in a book written by a self made millionaire these wise words " anyone who has ever succeeded has used what they had to overcome what they didn't". In other words we can see our current life circumstances as stumbling blocks or stepping- stones.

The way we choose to see our circumstances is vitally important. See them as stumbling blocks and that's exactly what they will be obstacles to you achieving your goal. See them as stepping and you'll be able to use them to help you achieve whatever it is that you want.

So lets look at you and your current situation. You are an attractive intelligent woman successful in various areas of your life. You are even if right now that doesn't seem so. Strangely enough it's often attractive intelligent women who have the greatest difficulty in finding their ideal man.

Why is this so? I have found a number of reasons. We tend to have higher expectations than some women and are less inclined to settle for second best or make unreasonable compromises Our busy lives are taken up with other issues leaving less time for dating.

Frankly some men are scared off by able and successful women. Although the above may sound negative it really isn't when we approach dating and relationships in the right way. Let's look again at those so-called stumbling blocks and see how they are really stepping stones to lead you to your ideal relationship.

Our higher expectations and unwillingness to make unreasonable compromises mean we are more likely to find the partner who is right for us. Because of this we are more likely to have a happy and lasting relationship even if we do take a little more time to find it. By choosing a man who is worthy of us we are far more likely to end up in a healthy equal relationship. By a man who is worthy of us I mean one who does not expect us to pretend to be less than we are to protect his fragile ego.

Having a busy life makes us less lightly to hang around waiting for a prospective boyfriend to phone. Being constantly available is a major mistake, which would make time spent with you, seem less valuable and important. One suggestion I frequently make to my one to one clients who are not getting enough dates or feel undervalued in their relationship is to be less available. There is a sound psychological principle behind this "the principle of scarcity".

Men who are scared off by your confidence 'ability or success are not for you. They have disqualified themselves, as you're future partners leaving you free to find a man who will rejoice in meeting a woman with your positive qualities. Pretending to be less than you are to please a man is like amateur dramatics. Acting a part for a few hours occasionally can be fun but you wouldn't want to spend your whole life doing it

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