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The little known secret of finding a Life Partner

By Eileen Edwards

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Published: 14May2009
Word count: 486
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The idea of"finding the one" is a romantic myth that gets in the way of people finding a life partner.

It's a myth for the following reasons. Firstly as most of the world's population lives in China we in the U.K. would stand very little chance of meeting the one.

Secondly the notion of the one totally ignores the fact that there are two people in a relationship. That's exactly what a relationship is two people relating to each other. To be honest I find it annoying to hear people say "I just haven't met the one yet" as this puts all the responsibility for success of the relationship in the hands of the other person.

In these circumstances I often point out the importance of being the right one. In other words taking equal responsibility for the success of the relationship and working to make it a success so that you can both share the rewards of a happy future.

Oprah Winfrey on one of her television shows gathered a large group of singles of both sexes and asked them to complete a compatibility questionnaire. When the results were analysed it was found that out of the roughly 300 people involved there were 7-9 compatible partners for each male and 11-14 for each female. If you are wondering why the females had a higher score of compatible partners my guess is that as females we are more adaptable. The point is that if each person could find the above number of potential life partners from this relatively small pool of people then there must for each of us be more than one person in the whole world who could fill the role of potential life partner.

The myth of the one is a scarcity myth and it can keep people in negative and unhappy relationships because they fear being alone. You may be thinking but I have met couples who are so right together haven't they found "the one"? When they met whether it was 5,10 or 50 years ago there was the potential for these two people to become "the one" for each other. There was also the potential for them to stay together for a while and then go their separate ways. They have become each other's special irreplaceable one by the way they have behaved in their relationship, by the life they have shared. At least that is my personal take on the meaning of the one.

Finding "the one" is a myth, here is the reality- there is no shortage of potentially compatible partners. We simply need to get out there and meet them. What is essential in finding the right one is being the right one.In other words being fair, honest, kind and caring in our relationships. Isn't that what we would expect from our future life partner? When we do this we become hard for potential partners to resist.

To learn more about finding your ideal partner visit http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk Eileen is a psychologist who turned around her own relationships by using the insights of psychology and now teaches others to do the same. You can email her at eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk and claim your free Love Magnet report.

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