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Whatever you do, don't leave the church

By Elsabe Smit

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Published: 17Sep2009
Word count: 818
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No, I have not suddenly been converted and become a church goer.

I don't know if you have noticed how organised religion keeps compromising in an effort to keep people in the church. I am not referring to one specific religion either.

If you are part of the religion, these compromises are probably the most logical thing to do. However, looking in from the outside, sometimes I can only shake my head.

I remember many years ago, in the 70's, the furore that women caused in my congregation by actually going to church with a bare head. The rule was that a woman had to cover her head when entering a church, but a man had to take his hat off. Why? What is wrong with a woman's hair? And why the different treatment for men and women? But the church could not stop the trend and had to change the rule. Today women go to church without hats.

Recently my partner and I went into the cathedral in Cologne, and he was instructed by a stern-faced cleric to remove his golf cap. I was tempted to take that same golf cap and put it on my head, just to see whether I would also be challenged. And would God have noticed that any of His/Her rules were broken? Whose rule is it anyway?

I was still a church-goer when the Christian church in my culture had their big soul-searching about allowing woman preachers. This was at a time when feminism was the rage, and of course the church kicked against this new trend.

The solution was to allow woman preachers to be trained (this required two university degrees and was quite expensive) and then to use them in "soft" positions namely working in old age homes or with children. This way they could be sidelined and were not able to "do too much damage".

Of course right-minded women ignored such nonsense and chose different careers, and the church got its way while appearing to adapt.

This strategy of compromise is still being used.

There has been much conflict in the Anglican Church over the past few years about accepting gay clerics. I cannot understand why and how one's sexual organs and how you choose to use them are of so much concern to the church. Surely the church is about faith and what happens in your heart and mind?

Anyway, a proposed solution is to settle for two styles of Anglicans - those who accept gay people and those who do not accept gay people. Then the church's agenda does not need to be questioned. The point is that the number of bodies should keep growing, because for every person who gets disillusioned and leaves, there should at least be a replacement. The Hindu faith also designed a compromise. In the Hindu faith there is no Christmas celebration, which meant no Christmas presents at a time when most other religions exchanged presents.

However, in 1985 a five-day festival named Pancha Ganapati was created by Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami along with elders of various Hindu groups. During the festival of Pancha Ganapti Hindus create and decorate a shrine in the main living room of the home.

The focus of the shrine is a statue of Lord Ganesha. Each day the children of the home dress the statue in a different colour. This is a very recent appendage to the ancient Hindu faith, but why not?

Problem solved, and people can get and give presents like the rest of the world - and the retailers are rubbing their hands at the prospect of all the new customers.

Compromise is such a mighty tool that it can even change a person's race. In Judaism a child's race, and by default their faith, is determined by the mother's race, and by default her faith.

When a Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman, the woman can "become" Jewish by going through a programme of accepting the Jewish faith. Problem solved - and let's not talk too much about the racial classification and rock the boat. What is important is that the man is retained, and the woman expands the faith by bearing children of the correct "race".

Speaking of Judaism - I heard a lovely story the other day about compromise on an individual level. A Jewish merchant visited some old (Christian) friends and business colleagues on his rounds. He happened to arrive at a time where the family were ready to have their supper, and with typical hospitality they invited their guest to share.

But then the hostess started apologising because the meal included pork sausages and she wanted to be hospitable but did not want to offend her guest. The Jewish merchant solved the problem by laughingly saying "But Ruby, must you give it a name?" as he took his seat at the table. Good for him!

Elsabe Smit is a professional transition coach, helping individuals and companies to achieve their personal and commercial objectives. What is the one thing which is consuming all your energy at the moment? Visit www.elsabesmit.com for a FREE problem identification audit and a FREE Daily Reflection.

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