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Are You Blaming Others Because You Don't Have Enough Clients?

By Fabienne Fredrickson

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 17Mar2008 Word count: 1453 Viewed: 310 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

QUOTE: "The more you say to yourself, 'I am responsible,' the stronger, better and finer a person you become. And every part of your life will improve at the same time." - Brian Tracy

One of the themes running through my life currently, and in the lives of my clients, is that of Personal Responsibility. If you've been to my workshop and on any of my calls, you know that I believe strongly in Personal Responsibility (I often call it 'The No Excuses Approach') and how I do not believe you can ever achieve BIG success without it. It's a topic that few marketing ever really talk about in depth, but one that is crucial for success.

You see, each time I bump up against a new level of success in my business, a lot of my old "stuff" comes back up. I've caught myself comparing my success to others with more success, feeling resentful, feeling less-than, and sometimes even BLAMING others or my own particular situation or for not being where I would LIKE to be in terms of success in that moment. And believe me, it doesn't feel good. But perhaps you know exactly what I'm talking about...

What I noticed is that I'm not the only one. As different people in my life, both personally and professionally, move up to the next level, or really WANT to move up to the next level, but instead, begin to feel frustrated, I see them pointing fingers OUTSIDE themselves, blaming their situation, a certain person, the system, a program they too, or whatever else they can find to shuck responsibility for where they are.

What I also noticed is that, in the end, I'm ultimately responsible for everything in my life, every increase in my in-come and success over the last few years. But most importantly, I'm also responsible for every setback. I can blame no one but myself.

Everything I have in my life exists because of my actions, my behaviors, my words and thoughts. And it's the same for you. Every decision we make creates our circumstances and because of that, we are ultimately responsible for each success and failure, happiness, unhappiness and financial situation.

I recently found an article by Brian Tracy, one of the world's leading authorities on personal and business success. This article has become one of my favorites and I refer to it often and ask my clients to read it too, especially when they start comparing their success to others with more success, feeling resentful of their situation, blaming others, or feeling angry and 'less-than' because their particular situation is not what they'd like it to be. Here's an excerpt:

"Responsibility goes hand in hand with success, achievement, motivation, happiness and self-actualization. It's the absolute minimum requirement for the accomplishment of everything you could ever really want in life. Accepting that you're completely responsible for yourself and realizing that no one is coming to the rescue is the beginning of peak performance...

The opposite of accepting responsibility is making excuses and blaming people and things for what's going on in your life. And since everything we do is a matter of habit, if people get into the habit of making excuses, they get into the habit of evading responsibility at the same time.

If they set a goal or objective for themselves, they immediately create an excuse that they hold in reserve just in case the accomplishment of the goal is too difficult or requires more self-discipline and persistence than they had thought.

As soon as things start to go poorly, irresponsible people trot out their excuse and let themselves off the hook. But that won't get them anywhere in the long run... The more responsibility you take, the more in control you are. And the freer you are, especially in your own mind, to make decisions and to do the things you want to do. So there's a direct relationship between responsibility, control, freedom and happiness.

A person who is completely irresponsible is subject to anger, hostility, fear, resentment, doubt-all sorts of negative emotions. And here's why. All negative emotions tend to be associated with blame. Fully 99 percent of all our problems exist only because we're able to blame someone or something for them. The instant we stop blaming, our negative emotions begin disappearing.

What's the antidote to blaming? It's simple! Since your mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive or negative, you can override the tendency to blame and become angry simply by saying, firmly, "I am responsible!" You can't accept responsibility for a situation and be angry at the same time... The acceptance of responsibility negates negative emotions and short-circuits any tendencies toward unhappiness. In fact, the acceptance of responsibility often gives you insight into what you should do to resolve the situation.

Everything that is happening to you on the outside is due to something that is happening to you on the inside, so the first place to look is within. As soon as you do that, you begin to see things that you had completely missed when you were busy blaming others and making excuses. You begin to see that you're responsible in large measure for the things that are happening to you.

You're earning today exactly what you're worth-not a penny more, not a penny less. In life, we tend to get exactly what we deserve. If you're not satisfied with the amount you're getting, look around you, at people who are doing the kind of work you would like to do and earning the kind of money you would like to earn. Ask them what they're doing differently from what you're doing. What are the causes of the effects they're getting? Once you know what they are, accept complete responsibility for your situation, apply your wonderful mind and abilities, back them with willpower and self-discipline, and get busy making the changes you need to make to enjoy the life you want to enjoy."

YOUR ASSIGNMENT:

You've heard the saying, "Speak the truth. The truth will set you free." In this case, I want you to be VERY honest with yourself in answering the following... stop hiding behind your justifications or get off your high horse and answer the following:

Have you recently blamed someone or something for the fact that you haven't yet achieved what you wanted in your business?

Are you using excuses (even JUSTIFYING your situation) so that you don't have to take action in terms of getting clients or be embarrassed in case "it doesn't work out"?

Have you harbored resentment towards someone or something because you feel you were "gipped" in some way?

Do you feel anger or have lashed out in the past because your business is not where you want it to be yet?

Are you pointing fingers, saying "This is the reason I'm not making more"?

Have you compared yourself to someone else more financially successful than you currently are, feeling less-than? Have you perhaps even JUDGED that person based on their success?

Personally speaking, I know that I've been able to answer "Yes" to all of these questions at some point in my self-employed career. Whether I knew it consciously or not at the time, it all resulted from avoiding responsibility for what I was creating in my life. It didn't feel good, and it certainly did not get me moving forward towards success.

The key for me has been to be honest with myself about my responsibility. No one else can create my life except for me. Only I can control my thoughts, words, actions and behaviors. Blaming or pointing fingers does absolutely no good. In fact, it doesn't work and it's usually just an excuse that we use, in case we fail. That way, we don't need to be embarrassed. We can just say it wasn't our fault. NONSENSE.

Consider this a fork in the road of your success. This is your opportunity to step up in your business, stop using excuses, stop resenting or comparing yourself and STOP blaming others for what you have or don't have in your life. It's time to take a NO EXCUSES approach to doing what you have to do to get clients, start being consistent in your marketing, work through the programs you've bought, or clear your schedule to attend events (no matter what else has "come up") that will give you the solution you SAY you've been wanting. Begin to take FULL responsibility and making different choices and your life and business will never be the same. I promise you that; I'm living proof of it.

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