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The Perfect Gifts for any Redneck Occasion

By Fred Morris

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 07Oct2008 Word count: 616 Viewed: 551 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

Christmas is right around the corner and gift buying can be challenging enough without even considering what to get for friends that are admitted rednecks. He wants a doo-hickey for his gun, she wants flannel camouflage pajamas, he wants swamp-wading, snake proof hip waders, (they have them at Cabela's), and she wants a professional fishing rod/reel combo to compete in a tournament. Well, don't fret- here are some suggestions for those special people on your list that will work for any occasion.

Wal-Mart gift card, yes, you knew it was coming, seeing as how all us rednecks are what made Wal-Mart what they are today. They got their start by opening stores in every small town across the country where we rednecks were in abundance, then they moved into the big cities with the Super Stores and then the more sophisticated rednecks began to frequent them, and now they are even in other countries where they have developed another kind of redneck. Now, I'm not pushing Wal-Mart over other stores, but they are a one-stop shopping mall where you can find just about anything on your shopping list. You can get anything you need there, and you might know half of the people shopping in there at any given time. Besides being a great place to run into people that you know and a few you don't, you can get groceries, socks, underwear, shampoo, tires and a doo-hickey for your friends gun. They also have a wide selection of chewing gum and chewing tobacco. Nothing says "Love" like a Wal-Mart gift card.

Well, ok, maybe nothing besides a Cabela's or Bass Pro gift certificate. If you buy a gift certificate to one of these and get a catalog. You can spend hours, even days, with your loved one looking at how they are going to spend the gift certificate a hundred different ways. They get the snake-proof waders or the doo-hickey for the gun, and last I looked, they sold camo pajamas for her and every rod/reel combo made. You can even buy food in there, maybe not as good of selection as the Super-Store, but they sell it. They also sell things to make it with, like turkey fryers and secret recipe fish batter mix, one of my personal favorites. They sell boats, too. If you get a gift certificate for that, then it's time to pop the question.

Now, most every admitted redneck likes tickets to mud runs or bull riding, but those are more schedule constraining, and clock punching is not a favorite thing. If they get drunk and forget what day it is, it could turn out to be a total waste of money. Which brings up another gift idea, beer makes for a present. If you get enough, it can be shared with friends, take it on a fishing trip or camp out near the river. It's the gift that keeps on giving, in that respect, and it's something a drinking man or woman will use right away, and maybe an excuse for a weekend trip in the wilderness. Depending on how close a friend you are, you may or may not get to go along.

The main gift idea for a redneck and single person is, if you don't let them pick out their own gift, then keep the receipt, they may want to return it to get the doo-hickey for their gun, or those flannel camo pajamas, so that's why the best thing might be a gift card, if you don't know EXACTLY what they want.

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