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Everyone is not meant to be a size 2

By Jacqueline LewisLyons

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Published: 15Aug2008
Word count: 678
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This summer I have been rather impressed by a television program on the Lifetime network - "How to look Good Naked" with Carson Kressley. This program emphasizes the fact that all women can be beautiful, once they are willing to see their own true inner beauty, regardless of what the scale may say. I like this show because it is not another makeover show or a lecture on losing weight. Instead, the program deals with the way we see ourselves and suggests ways to help women become more comfortable in their bodies and increase self-esteem. This change in self-perception is not based on external appearance but by attacking and eliminating long-held (false) beliefs and negative self-talk.

The show also presents some pretty interesting statistics throughout each episode which should shock and concern us all. For example, four out of five women hate their bodies. That's 80% of women hating themselves! If you hate something, how likely are you to put time into taking care of it? Not much! This is crazy making! Another statistic is that the typical high fashion model represents only 2% of American women. And, who are we striving to look like? The saddest part is - if we don't get the results that we are after (wearing a size 2, sunken abs, weighing 105 pounds) we blame and hate ourselves even more! This next stat is really shocking. Teen girls are more afraid of gaining weight than getting cancer. Let's think about this for a minute. More afraid of being overweight than having to deal with a life-threatening disease. This is ridiculous because there are steps that can be taken to lose weight, but battling cancer is a completely different issue.

Everyone is not meant to be a size 2! Did you understand? More important, do you believe it? I am not criticizing anyone who wants to lose weight or is actively working a weight loss plan. But losing weight should be a factor in a plan to improve your overall health, not just to say you wear the same size as some celebrity. For some reason, we are more obsessed with meeting a 'standard' of beauty that is not related to being healthy.

Being healthy should be at the top of everyone's list. However, the way beauty is measured in this country has caused many women to develop many health-related problems, including low self-esteem and various eating disorders. In addition, most women find it very hard to develop lasting friendships with other women because of that green-eyed monster - envy. This obsession is not healthy and does not motivate the average woman to make positive changes to help herself. Instead, it just causes greater stress and decreases the quality of life for all involved. You know what I mean - how pleasant is it to be around someone who has a negative attitude about everything, including herself? There is a wonderful book that I am recommending to others - "Life doesn't begin 5 pounds from now" by Jessica Weiner. It is worth checking out just to see if you are guilty of mistreating yourself because of your weight or appearance. Anyway, if your goal is to lose weight, the odds are you will be more successful if you do it with a positive attitude, out of love and respect for yourself rather than self-hatred and punishment.

I believe that many women who want to lose weight are hampered by their self-perceptions. They doubt that they can lose weight or get healthy and quickly give up. For others, so much emphasis is placed on an unrealistic weight goal or clothing size that the failure ruins any future attempts. I want to encourage us to first focus on the positives. There is so much more to us than our weight or dress size that we completely ignore. I challenge you to treat yourself with love, kindness and respect for who you are. If you can see how valuable you really are, you'll be more likely to take care of yourself.

Dr. Jacqui Lewis-Lyons is a Clinical Psychologist and a Life Coach who works with women and children around issues related to health and stress problems. She has over 2o years experience in the mental health field. Dr. Jacqui enjoys helping clients make their lives more positive and satisfying as they reach their goals. She is located in Columbus, Ohio. Her practice is Personal Wholeness Solutions, the website is http://www.PWSLifeCoach.com .

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