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4 Easy Steps To A Stronger Marriage

By Jake Jafims

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 07Aug2009 Word count: 593 Viewed: 161 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

Boredom and routine are the bane of any relationship. If you've been married for any length of time, you have probably slipped into a comfortable routine. Unfortunately, comfortable can also mean predictable, unexciting, or just boring.

Now I'm not suggesting your life needs to be a three-ring circus. But you do have to put in some effort to keep you marriage both interesting and fun.

Here are four easy things you can do to help bring back the spark that may have faded.

1. Start dating again.

It's easy to forget to "date" your partner once the honeymoon is over. Remember back to the days when you actually tried to impress your spouse and bring some of that back again. Let's face it; you can't bring back the excitement of getting to know each other again. You already know their stories, you already know their opinions, and you even know their favorite flavor of ice cream.

What I'm talking about is attitude. Take you spouse (aka the most important person in you life) out with the specific intent of showing them a good time. Not just out to dinner but an entire planned evening.

2. Stop arguing and start listening.

It's human nature to defend ourselves when we feel attacked. Unfortunately this can be the "kiss-of-death" to a marriage. Conflicts cannot be resolved when both of you refuse to listen. Since you are the one reading this, I "volunteer" you to be the one to change first.

The next time you find yourself in an argument, stop and listen to what your partner is trying to say. Accept the fact that they are probably putting it wrong and try to understand the core of what they are saying.

Asking good questions is essential. When you spouse says something like "You never listen to me" it's easy to get angry. Most of us would automatically argue that we do listen. Instead try to remain calm (I know it's difficult) and ask something such as "Can you give me a specific example of when I didn't listen to you?"

3. Meet Your Spouses Needs

It's important do note that "meeting your spouses needs" is not the same as "meeting what you think their need are" or "meeting the needs they used to have". In a perfect world your spouse would tell you exactly what they need from you. In the real world, things aren't usually that easy. If you've started listening instead of arguing, you are on the right track to finding out what your partner really needs from you.

4. Start Touching Again

Many couples fall out of the habit of touching each other throughout the day. Hugging, kissing, and holding hands are automatic when the relationship is new. These small displays of affection can have a powerful effect over time. Touch is very important to pair bonding and strengthens the connection with your spouse.

Maintaining your marriage relationship isn't rocket science. None of what you have just read should come as a big surprise or revelation. Sometimes we need to be reminded about things we already know. There are great joys in a long term committed relationship but there are also some dangers. It's a bit of a juggling act. The trick is to be comfortable in you're marriage becoming too comfortable.

So, go ahead and put a little spice back into your marriage. It should be easy and fun. It's really just a matter of remembering and replaying those wonderful days when your relationship was new. Only this time, your "date" is already your best friend.

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