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I picked up the phone and said 'hello'. The first thing I heard on the other end was "Tell me how to get my girlfriend back." It was my friend Ethan calling to tell me that his girlfriend had just broken up with him, and he was desperate to get her back. This situation was causing him a lot of pain. He wasn't eating or sleeping regulary. His girlfriend lives in the same small town as he does, so it made the situation worse. And to add insult to injury, she broke up with him on Christmas day!
He was also going through some very tough financial times when this happened and had just lost his home. As I was talking to him to try to calm him down, we talked about some things he could do to get his girlfriend back. I gave him some very specific instructions to follow. He did the exact opposite of almost everything I told him to do.
He thought the best thing to do would be to talk to her about the situation. So, he called her incesantly. He assured her that he loved her more than anything in the world, and that he would do anything to get her back. He sent her text messages all the time saying that he loved her. He would talk to her family members about the situation and ask were she was and who she was hanging out with. He also talked to her friends. Of course everytime he would talk to someone close to his ex girlfriend about the break up, word would get back to her. She started to feel very smothered.
Both of them had Facebook pages. This only increased Ethan's misery. He was checking her profile all the time. He was thinking that she was with another man, and wanted to see if there were messages on her page. When he saw something he didn't like, he would post a vauge message on his own profile, knowing that she would see it. This went on for months.
He would see her drive by his home and this would set him off. He claimed that she was only driving by to check up on him and that it was out of her way to do so. This really made him crazy.
Ethan was not able to get his girlfriend back. But, this didn't have to be the end result for him. Sometimes a relationship is beyond the point of saving. However, you can do whatever you need to do to ensure that you don't escalate the situation after a break up.
If you have just broken up with your girlfriend you too may be thinking 'I need to know how to get my girlfriend back.' I sincerely hope that you will not do what Ethan did. The first thing to do is to have no contact at all. This means no calls, not texting, and no Facebook. Don't talk to mutual friends about the situation. Doing all of this would only drive you crazy.
You should really break contact for a minimum of 1 month. You need to show her that you agree with the break up, even if you don't. Having this breaK from your ex will give her some time to think about the good times in your relationship. She will see you going on to live you life and this will give you a greater value in her eyes. There is a good chance she will contact you before the 1 month is over. This is when you can tell her that you still want to be her friend because she is very special to you. Meet up for coffee to work on being friends. When this happens, you are on the way to getting her back.
Poor Ethan went through so much pain and heart ache that was completely unnecessary. This never needs to happen! If you ever tell someone that you need to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, I hope that you listen to their advice. Don't be like my friend Ethan.
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