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Why We Don't Communicate

By Julia Austin

Republish: EasyPublish™
Published: 21Jan2012
Word count: 525
Viewed: 139 time(s)

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We know that life, in all of his sectors, would go by much smoother if everyone would just communicate. So much time and energy could be saved if we just said what we really felt, what we really wanted, what our intentions were. Instead, we spend a lot of time couching things and trying to put things nicely or properly. That is something to be respected but in the end, there is always miscommunication if you don't just say what you mean, how you mean it.

So, why don't we? Why do we pretend our intentions match up with someone else's when they don't? Why do we pretend we are not offended when we are? Or that we are made happy by something when we are not? Here are a few reasons:

Fear of rejection:
If you have a drastically different opinion on something important than most of your friends, or even if you just hate doing something that your friends always do, it can be difficult to tell them. Why? Because people fear being alone. They fear that being alone will feel worse than being surrounded by people who you do not agree with. But, if you would just take that first step, and say "I don't agree with you", and then, after that particular group rejected you, take the next step and say to whoever you meet "this is what I do agree with" you would find very quickly that you were surrounded by friends again. And ones who you enjoy being around much more than the previous group.

Fear of not being understood:
Sometimes, we don't care what someone's opinion is of us—we simply don't think they are worth the energy of explaining ourselves to. If you have something you are truly passionate about, it takes energy out of you to tell people about it. You feel you give a little piece of yourself away each time you let yourself get worked up and go off on a tangent about that thing you are passionate about. So, when you're talking to someone who you know will not appreciate it or will not fully understand it, you do not communicate at all.

Fear of sounding strange:
It can be as simple as fearing that when we speak, we sound strange. Perhaps you have an accent, or your voice has odd pitches, or your vocabulary is poor. I saw a video today of a very good looking young musician speaking to a singing instructor about a rough patch he went through when he didn't want to express any emotion. And I thought "this guy is so cute! What does he have to worry about being judged for?" But he explained that it was after he had injured his vocal chords, and he didn't know what sort of sounds would come out when he spoke. This fear of sounding strange can run very deep in some people. Luckily, the young man in the video fixed the issue through his lessons with this instructor.

Julia Austin is a dating columnist who also covers luxury lifestyle and healthy living topics for various publications. Her subject matter ranges from eco-friendly hotels to first date tips and even methods on how to improve one's singing and voice techniques.

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