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What It's Like To Be Foreign In America

By Julia Austin

Republish: EasyPublish™
Published: 16Jan2012
Word count: 425
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If you are not related to, best friends with or in some sort of serious relationship with a foreigner, you really don't know how their "otherness" takes a toll on their life in America.

I watched a video recently about an Austrian woman who is a professional singer and how she felt that her accent was criticized in her work. I could very easily sympathize with her.

Both of my parents are from Sweden. They moved here in their early thirties so they have thick accents and are, for all intensive purposes, very Swedish. Our home is filled with tinny wooden Swedish horses. Our meals often consist of Swedish meatballs, pickled herring, and lingonberry sauce. As a child, I was sent to Swedish school and I could see how happy my parents were to be able to converse with the other Swedish parents at pick up time.

I watch the way that their upbringing and where they are from makes their assimilation into the United States difficult.

In social settings, they have difficulty bonding with new people because of the difference in sense of humor. We take for granted the importance of common sense of humor. At a dinner party, or anywhere where we meet new people, we know pretty quickly which people are kind, light-hearted and trust-worthy based on their sense of humor. We also know which ones are cynical and critical. It pains me to see my parents have no idea how to react to a comment. Do they laugh? Do they act solemn? Generally, I just see them look at each other at a loss for a reaction.

Something else very unique to each culture is the rate at which people become close. In America, particularly in Southern California where we live, people open up quickly. We are all about communication and being open about everything. So someone you have just met might tell you about their divorce, their childhood traumas—things that belong on the therapist's couch.

From what my parents tell me, in Sweden you take your time to open up to someone. There are topics that are safe upon first meeting someone, and topics that are not. People often read my parents as judgmental, or even as if they are not enjoying themselves, because they do not contribute the same type of information that others are contributing.

When really, they are just not used to discussing such personal things so quickly.

Julia Austin is a dating columnist who also covers luxury lifestyle and healthy living topics for various publications. Her subject matter ranges from eco-friendly hotels to first date tips and even methods on how to improve one's singing and voice techniques.

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