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How Can I Make My Wedding Different?

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Published: 19Mar2012
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Same Same but Different is a well known saying in Thailand and no doubt other parts of the world and I think for me it totally encapsulates the wedding industry. Every wedding I've ever been to or organised has a ceremony with a legal content, food, drink, dancing and speeches. However no two weddings are ever the same.

The beauty of a wedding is that it can be totally you without being too off the wall and weird. Different for different sake is silly and can lead to things going wrong when it's totally unnecessary. The way to achieve a wedding that is totally you is to list the things that are important to you and incorporate them into your wedding.

The ceremony whether religious or civil should be the most important part of the day, with the solemnity of the vows and exchanging of rings, whatever follows should be simply that, a celebration of marriage.

Most weddings revolve around the menu and this, no doubt will strongly influence your day. A three course traditional sit down dinner in a hotel will be a very different atmosphere to a marquee in the garden and this is very much where you can put your personal stamp on the day.

Have a wedding at home in the garden, put loads of straw bales out for guests to sit at, big buckets with ice for wine and beer and provide picnics for all your guests. If finances are tight ask them to bring a bottle. You may need a few gazebos scattered around in case of bad weather and a few patio heaters would be greatly appreciated later in the evening when it starts to get chilly. Plug in an ipod and you've got the simplest of all days.

If you don't want the formality of a three course meal have a buffet incorporating your favourite dishes. Sharing platters are extremely popular now and are great for breaking the ice if you have loads of guests that don't know each other. They can be a selection of local products or something completely different like a medley of Indian or Thai or something as simple as a selection of breads with olives, hummus, prosciutto and cheeses.

If you are both foodies and thats what interests you build your whole day around what you eat. This can be something very simple like a Sunday roast or it can incorporate dishes from favourite places you've visited. If you have a cherished childhood memory of summer barbeques in your garden or eating fish and chips out of newspaper it's easily achievable.

Picnic baskets or afternoon tea or even bangers and mash offer great wedding food and everyone will think you are extremely clever, innovative and different from the usual three course meal.

You may like fine wines and enjoy the process of matching them with your menu and it's a great way to get all your family together and involve them in the planning stages. If you don't care for their opinions you can still have a fun evening and gossip over your forthcoming plans.

If you are musical you may want to go to town on the music, maybe starting with a gospel choir at church and then little touches throughout the day, a jazz band in the garden always sparks the atmosphere and a walk around singer complements the meal beautifully. Just remember to monitor the volume as nothings worse than trying to chat when you can't hear yourself speak.

Lots of brides when planning a wedding completely lose touch with reality. Common sense goes out the window, they want what they want. Rational argument has no place and everyone falls out. You want it different but you don't want it to be a disaster. Its simply stupid to decide you are going to seat 150 guests on the lawn for a summer wedding without any covering. Any sane person will tell you that it may possibly rain but sometimes brides have the absolute unshakeable belief that the sun will shine on her day and nothing you say is going to make the slightest bit of difference. Its like some strange trance takes over your normal mind and replaces it with a person you don't recognise. Most brides start off sane and rational, even saying they won't turn into bridezilla and they won't get caught up in wedding fever and over a period of time they start buying all the magazines, watching wedding tv and their ideas get more and more outrageous to the point of being ridiculous.

They spent the vast majority of their days on websites, emailing their suppliers, looking for the latest trend, buying every bit of tat they can and when the big day actually comes around they find their tables look like someone has dumped a waste paper basket on it, rather than the simple elegance they were initially looking for.

If you are an employer best beware. Monitor emails and access to the web if you actually want any work done in the ensuing months. But be careful brides are sneaky. You'll probably need to confiscate her mobile phone too as the number of times she needs to use the loo, just to check her phone will increase dramatically. Lunches will get longer and days shorter. Visits to suppliers are a must, not a problem for a few days but as the average wedding is 18 months away better keep track. God help you if you've got a large workforce and more than one is getting married at the same time! In this case competitiveness is not a good thing!

Some actually realise they are being ridiculous even as they are doing it, starting sentences with I know I'm being silly but can we have/do......

Family arguments ensue and a lot of storming around, followed by apologies for being difficult and then the whole process starts again. They ring their suppliers and start the conversation with hi its me and whats even more ridiculous is that the person answering the phone knows exactly who it is as they've answered the last 18 calls to the same person that manages to clog up the phone line for the past hour, every day for the last 3 months. They analyze everything then re-analyze it and talk it over and change back what they changed yesterday. The high flyers are the worst. They normally they deal with big business, doing multi million pound deals and now they can't decide between sugar snap peas and mange tout!

They want to see rose petals so they can match up the colour of the petal with the bridesmaids dresses, the chair covers and the icing on the cake. Is it just me or do they not realise that the petal they've been shown will be dead and the one they have on the day may not match it exactly and since when has anyone managed to match petals with fabric anyway.

At some point they do usually come to their senses, usually at some point on the day when they realise that they missed the point and the things they were worrying about actually don't matter. If the top tier of the cake bounces off due to the marquee floor boards being laid on a slight incline is it really a disaster or will you roar with laughter retelling the story in years to come.

Remember its your day, with your family and friends and they are on your side. They have come to share your joy and frankly couldn't give a stuff if the writing on the water bottles doesn't match the font on the printed menus. They want to celebrate your day, eat drink and dance the night away.

Karen Rhodes has been in the wedding industry for over twenty years and has helped hundreds of brides plan a perfect wedding. To get her free report go to http://www.myweddingclub.co.uk

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