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Articles by Len Stauffenger

• Explaining Money to Your Children
  Children can be taught early on and easily about handling money in their lives. Any one of these nine practical tips from author and divorced dad, Len Stauffenger, help you get the point across.
  Published 06Jun2009, viewed 207 times

• Are You a Single Parent on a Tight Budget?
  Are you a custodial parent in a divorce, in particular, are you a single mother operating on a tight budget? Here are some great budget-stretching tips to help you.
  Published 05Jun2009, viewed 266 times

• Consistency: Do You Both Oversee Your Kids' Homework?
  Frequently in a divorce, if you are the custodial parent, the children do their homework at your house under your supervision. Because we understand and respect about children coming first when you're divorced, just how are you handling setting consistent implementing of homework standards when they visit their other parent?
  Published 01May2009, viewed 257 times

• Harmonious Interfaces With Your Ex
  When you're divorced, one of the biggest challenges when there are children involved is the ongoing interface you must have with your ex. Your children deserve this communication because they don't handle change real well, and this communication is part of the continuity they so want and so deserve to have.
  Published 29May2009, viewed 214 times

• Is Reconciliation An Option For You?
  Why consider reconciliation vs. a divorce? Because divorce has consequences that can be enormous and overwhelming and painful for everyone involved. If you can prevent it, please consider reconciliation.
  Published 24May2009, viewed 217 times

• Divorced? Self-Care Tips to Help You Heal
  After divorce, if you are a parent, you're mainly involved in child care. I'm highly recommending self care as well. Divorcees deserve their TLC. It helps in the healing.
  Published 23May2009, viewed 214 times

• You Married Him Why?
  You've gone through a divorce and you now know that once is more than enough, right? But do you know how to foster a quality relationship, marry more intelligently the second time around and prevent another divorce? Read on.
  Published 21May2009, viewed 233 times

• Learning About Relationships To Prevent Your Second Divorce
  When we are young, we are inexperienced and just not savvy when it comes to building quality relationships. We base our decisions on reasons that are subtly buried inside ourselves, and we avoid looking at the clues that are right in front of us. You can unfold the skills that it takes to not make that mistake twice. Nobody wants two divorces.
  Published 10May2009, viewed 228 times

• Visitation Agreements When You Are Divorced
  Divorce presents many opportunities for the unfoldment of your character and establishing a reasonable visitation agreement is one of those times. If you keep the welfare of the children tantamount, you will be successful.
  Published 22Apr2009, viewed 198 times

• Do You Really Mean What You Say to Your Children?
  Are the demands of raising children getting to you? Are you a divorced parent who experiences anger? Do you snap at your own children because of your stress? Here are some tips to identify if you are reaching critical mass.
  Published 19Apr2009, viewed 243 times

• Parent Teacher Conferences - Can You Both Go?
  All children love their parents to be pleased with their work at school. When you are divorced, this doesn't change. Using your wisdom for communicating with your ex might be called upon for this circumstance.
  Published 25Mar2009, viewed 249 times

• Will A Divorce Recovery Group Help You?
  Divorce brings such challenging tasks along with it. You have to surmount your fears and your self doubt. I know many divorcees who feel it was the cause of their ultimate good and finding their soul mate as it was for me. There are online recovery groups who can help you process through this challenge.
  Published 14Mar2009, viewed 186 times

• Never Make Your Child Choose Which Parent He Likes Best
  Divorce presents far more of a challenge to the children than to the divorcing parents. They are innocent victims of their parent's decisions and need your help to let them continue to love both their parents, because they did nothing wrong.
  Published 10Apr2009, viewed 231 times

• To Divorce or To Mediate?
  If you are about to get a divorce, I want you let you know that mediation might be a great alternative to that divorce for you. You won't have to hire an attorney and the outcome can be just as effective.
  Published 05Apr2009, viewed 240 times

• Your Child Experiences Grief and Loss When You Divorce
  You can be sensitive to the fact that when you decide to divorce, your child may also experience the same grief that you feel as a parent: that of grief. You are losing your dream of a married, loving commitment. They are losing the presence of a parent that they have grown accustomed to. You can help cushion their sense of loss.
  Published 04Mar2009, viewed 277 times

• Keep A Journal To Help You To Figure Out Your Divorce
  Divorce emotions are hard enough one time, so you want to do everything you can not to repeat the same mistakes. Even if it looks like your ex is the one who made mistakes, it did take two to tango. If you journal about the divorce, you will discover your role and not make the same mistake twice.
  Published 12Mar2009, viewed 238 times

• Should You Invite Your Ex to Holiday Affairs
  There were times during the early days of my divorce, when I did not want to see my ex's face. Period. And yet, there were the children who were accustomed to seeing her at family parties. What is the best thing to do for the sake of the kids?
  Published 27Mar2009, viewed 379 times

• Both of You are Responsible for the Infidelity
  If you have been the victim of your spouse's infidelity, this article is for you. It will help you to understand why he/she did it a bit more clearly, and you may even see your role (or the lack of it) in these wise words from a Life Coach and Divorced Dad.
  Published 04Mar2009, viewed 170 times

• Help Kids To Express Their Feelings When You Are Getting A Divorce
  Your children are going to feel that your divorce is the end of the world for them. It's wonderful to do a lot of explaining with them and a lot of listening to them. It's also good to help them to unfold some coping skills.
  Published 14Feb2009, viewed 287 times

• Creating A Harmonious Divorce For The Sake Of Your Children
  The trauma that seems intrinsic to many divorces come from using dirty tactics. You're so much better off to steer clear of them though. You're better off to know your rights and insist they be honored.
  Published 12Mar2009, viewed 240 times

• Three-Step Sanity Check for Communicating Change With Your Kids
  Divorced Parents have an uphill and ongoing struggle to stay communicated for the sake of your children. You'll have to remove the emotion from it and 'just do it."
  Published 12Mar2009, viewed 263 times

• Do You Use Dirty Tricks On Your Ex?
  If you've suffered emotional trauma that has left you feeling vulnerable and vindictive - someone who might feel tempted to resort to dirty divorce tricks - you will need a strong skill set, a lot of knowledge, professional support, but mostly, you will need internal courage to face your ex down and get what you deserve by law.
  Published 05Mar2009, viewed 487 times

• 5 Devious Devices You Should Quit Using to Punish Your Ex
  If you are one of those divorced parents who thinks it's just jolly good fun to punish your ex every chance you get, consider if this is beneficial for the children. Surely they cannot benefit by learning spitefulness, stubbornness, manipulation, alienation of affection, and putting down the new Mrs. Wonderful. Surely you'd want better for your children.
  Published 30Jan2009, viewed 366 times

• Learn To Do Home Repairs Yourself
  If you are a newly divorced, single mother with limited means, you've been called upon to unfold some talents that are lying dormant within you. Home repairs can be a lot of fun and a great source of feeling good about yourself.
  Published 28Jan2009, viewed 247 times

• Establishing Boundaries With Your Former Spouse
  Are there places in your life that leave you feeling uncomfortable? I suspect it's because you haven't learned yet how to set boundaries. This article will be a great beginning for you on that boundary-setting process and you'll be so much happier when you've got that in place.
  Published 22Feb2009, viewed 304 times

• Creating Security For Your Children With Your Own Solidarity
  It's been reputed that the sins of the fathers shall be carried forth even unto the seventh generation. This _can_ be halted, if you will do the work to clean up the childhood remnants in your life, in order not to pass them along to your kids. You always wanted to raise your children well.
  Published 21Jan2009, viewed 276 times

• Who Is To Blame When Your Ex Treats You Badly?
  Divorce is a time when emotional upheaval seems to be the norm. If you've found yourself in the situation of being treated badly by your ex, you'll want to correct that so that you never experience it again. Read the words of wisdom of Len Stauffenger, Life Coach and Divorced Dad.
  Published 15Feb2009, viewed 385 times

• Alienation Between Divorced Parents
  If you see, sense or positively know that after your divorce, your ex spouse is alienating your children from you, you must deal with this. And if speaking to your ex doesn't work, here are some more tips to keep your kids' priorities first on your list.
  Published 13Feb2009, viewed 276 times

• When Your Ex Is Gay - How Do You Tell His Children?
  If you're getting a divorce because your spouse is gay, and there are children from that marriage, it's a ticklish situation because at some point, you'll have to tell those children their dad is gay. Here's a story about how one woman handled this with her sons.
  Published 08Feb2009, viewed 220 times

• Why Your Divorce Can Be The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You
  Everybody's heard the "lemons to lemonade" advice but when it comes to a painful divorce, just how do you see the good in it? Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger, gives you tons of ideas here and not only will they salve your divorce hurts, they will radiate into all the other areas of your life as well.
  Published 07Feb2009, viewed 305 times

• Don't Add Guilt To a Good Day Visiting Your Ex
  If you are the divorced parent who bears the majority of the responsibility of the children on a day-in, day-out basis, when they go spend a fun weekend with their other parent, and they come home full of fun and games, don't let your resentment spill over as guilt on them. They deserve better from you.
  Published 23Jan2009, viewed 220 times

• My Mother-In-Law Wouldn't Let Me Divorce Her
  Those sticky emotions that bubble and boil when you get a divorce sometimes form themselves into a type of revenge toward your mother-in-law who doesn't deserve it. Don't keep your kids from her. There are way too many blessings in fostering their relationship.
  Published 18Dec2008, viewed 294 times

• How Often Can Your Children Visit You?
  When you are a divorced dad or mom, visitation with your children is a right for both you and them. It's a court-awarded and mandated benefit. But more than that, it's critical to your child's welfare and that is the important part.
  Published 24Dec2008, viewed 272 times

• Kids Remember Every Promise You Make Them
  We have all grasped at straws in the air to nudge our kids to conform to what we want them to do and we use promises to make that happen. It might not be the best idea. Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger, encourages you to use trust and your kids memory to make only those promises you fully intend to keep.
  Published 23Dec2008, viewed 256 times

• Mean It When You Say It, And You'll Only Have to Say It Once
  If you can teach yourself to "mean what you say" the first time you say it, you can save yourself and your kids a lot of aggravation and then discipline can become the instructional tool it was meant to be. You'll be able to give up threats.
  Published 10Jan2009, viewed 351 times

• Getting A Better Education And A Better Job When You're Divorced
  Divorce might be one of the most challenging events of your life experience to date. Your emotions are in a blender. If you have children, you are financially, spiritually and physically responsible for your child, his welfare, his education, and his stability. You might consider doing some planning for the future to assure that. Here are some tips from Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger, author of "Getting Over It! Wisdom for Divorced Parents"
  Published 08Feb2009, viewed 216 times

• Getting Continuity With Your Ex about Your Kid's Behavior
  When you are divorced and your kids have a weekend with your ex - their other parent - do you notice a difference in your child when they come home? Is their behavior altered from when they are away from you? Maybe it's time to run a few ideas about continuity by your ex and try for a little buy-in for your value-driven decisions.
  Published 08Jan2009, viewed 321 times

• Do You Want What is Best for Your Children in Your Custody Agreement?
  When you get a divorce, you don't want your children to be in limbo over any of the child custody arrangements, so it's well to find a special place and a special time to explain them to your kids.
  Published 16Dec2008, viewed 214 times

• Divorced With a Low Credit Score? Promising News to Raise the Score!
  If you're in the throes of a divorce, or if you've just recently gone through one, your credit might have been damaged in the process. Here are some great tips on restoring your credit score.
  Published 31Dec2008, viewed 304 times

• Re-Discovering Who You Are After a Divorce
  How does one weather the storms of a divorce when you feel as if all your nuts and bolts have been shaken loose, and you've run out of answers for all those questions from your family and friends? You deserve some reflective time to figure yourself out and snuggle into your highest sense of what that means to you.
  Published 17Dec2008, viewed 229 times

• Don't Do Q&A Sessions After a Weekend With Your Ex
  Your children deserve to be with their other parent as part of their rights from your divorce custody agreement. They would enjoy those visits so much more if you didn't pump them for information after a weekend with your ex.
  Published 07Nov2008, viewed 297 times

• Who Needs to See Your Parenting Plan?
  When you're divorced, a good plan for parenting is to create a file with all the important information about each of your children that the important people in their lives will need - their teachers, their grandparents, their child care giver. Here is a list of important topics to get you started.
  Published 05Nov2008, viewed 440 times

• Questions to Ask Yourself When You Want to Begin to Date Again
  When you want to begin dating again after your divorce, it's so important to evaluate your children's needs and how they will take your decision. Author Len Stauffenger shares the life lessons he learned about this sensitive decision.
  Published 31Oct2008, viewed 308 times

• Custody Over Christmas?
  Of all the decisions you'll have to make about custody, custody over the holidays is one of the more difficult ones. Here are some ideas on that topic so that the children and both parents win.
  Published 29Oct2008, viewed 245 times

• Choosing To Forget the Painful Memories That Led To Your Divorce
  The powerful emotions of guilt, denial, anger, depression and many others that surge through you when divorce rears it's ugly head in your life have to be drained away eventually. You can heal from them, and this article is chock full of tips to help you do just that.
  Published 28Oct2008, viewed 259 times

• Your Children Didn't Ask for Your Divorce
  You are your child's caregiver and protector. When divorce rears it's ugly head, you've got to be sure your children are buffered as much as possible. Here are some key ideas to consider to be sure that occurs.
  Published 22Oct2008, viewed 275 times

• Can You Save Money On A Small Salary When You're Divorced?
  Do you think that because you are a single parent with a small salary that you don't have enough to set some aside for savings? In this article, you'll be able to rethink that - and begin to save a little.
  Published 17Oct2008, viewed 310 times

• Agreements for You and Your Ex About Education
  When you are a divorced parent, placing the focus of your life on your child is critical. Insuring a great education for your child is just a small part of it. If you haven't thought through the details of your child's education and how you and your ex will continue to support them, here are some practical tips.
  Published 15Oct2008, viewed 376 times

• Learning from Our Divorce Mistakes
  Did you know that divorce rates are higher for second marriages than for first marriages? In this article, Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger offers copious questions to ask yourself, so that in answering, you'll avoid a second divorce yourself.
  Published 08Oct2008, viewed 430 times

• If You Want To Know About Mommy's New Boyfriend, Ask Mommy
  In your single parenting experience, have you been inadvertently placing a burden on your children by turning them into information seekers or messengers between you and your ex? It's unfair to foist that job off on them. Summon up some courage and consider doing it yourself.
  Published 03Oct2008, viewed 315 times

• Have You Created a Parenting Plan?
  "Just winging it" should not be an option for divorced parents. A parenting plan should be created by both parents and then distributed to those with a need to know, like grandparents and school, if necessary. And here's how....
  Published 23Sep2008, viewed 500 times

• The Uniqueness of Your Individuality - You're Not Your Parents
  Have people told you "You're just like your mother?" or "You're just like your father?" We all have parents, but the personas we've grown since our birth is ours alone and deserves full attention. Discovering your individuality might be the main fallout from your divorce.
  Published 15Aug2008, viewed 445 times

• Equitable Property Settlement in a Divorce
  Not a high percentage of divorces have equitable property settlements or spousal support agreements. Read on for ideas about what to include in your settlement.
  Published 13Aug2008, viewed 340 times

• Are You The "Big Event" Type of Parent or The "Daily Influencer" Type?
  When divorce happens to you and you are the parent left with the raising and influence of the kids, what kind of an influence are you? Here are some tips about what children really want and need from you.
  Published 07Aug2008, viewed 431 times

• Do You Have a Great Parenting Plan or Are You Winging It?
  When you are a divorced parent, you've got your hands quite full. You never thought your divorce would involve all these details and all these decisions. It's very easy to slide into overwhelm. Here are some tips from a successful divorced dad to help you jump these hurdles.
  Published 06Aug2008, viewed 420 times

• Divorce? Not Me!
  Can you figure out which stage you might be in for your divorce? Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger spells it out for you and it's very similar to the stages one goes through upon the death of a loved one. Hang in there. Eventually you will complete all the stages. Happiness is on the other side.
  Published 25Jul2008, viewed 386 times

• Hang On In There! Be a Great Parent
  Do you have a Parenting Plan for raising your kids now that you are a single, divorced parent? It will help you make it through the tough times of your divorce.
  Published 23Jul2008, viewed 409 times

• Your Kids Can't Bear to Hear You Blame Your Ex
  Consider exercising great caution and restraint when you speak about your ex within earshot of your children. They still love him/her and it causes them great pain to hear you put them down.
  Published 09Jul2008, viewed 310 times

• Resolving Shared Custody When You're Divorced
  When you are divorced and you have children, one of the stickiest things you have to handle is the interface required with your ex. Here is the wisdom from one Divorced Dad.
  Published 02Jul2008, viewed 546 times

• Can You See Your Kids Triggering You?
  If you will spend some time discovering what triggers you, you can make enormous progress in your life to become the kind of role model your kids deserve. You can share your new skills with your kids to teach them how to handle things when they become triggered.
  Published 25Jun2008, viewed 426 times

• What Moral Behavior Are You Modeling for Your Children?
  Establishing a strong moral foundation for your children and patterning moral behavior will help them through their first time of seeing someone naked in a magazine as it did me.
  Published 20Jun2008, viewed 370 times

• When You Badmouth Your Ex, You Hurt Your Children
  Something horrible has happened between you and the person you fell in love with and got married to. You've decided to divorce. Your children did not have the same experience with your ex and should not be subjected to your evil feelings about him or her.
  Published 18Jun2008, viewed 1221 times

• Who Are We Gonna Live With, Mom?
  Three simple steps to help you maintain your emotions when deciding on the custody of your children during a divorce proceeding. Len Stauffenger, Divorced Dad, shares this common sense article to help you from becoming a second-divorce statistic.
  Published 10Jun2008, viewed 445 times

• If It's Going to Be, It's Up to Me!
  Divorce is wrought with disappointment because of the broken promise of a two-parent family. In this article, Divorced Dad Len Stauffenger provides some practical tips to re-grow that trust with your kids and preventing yet another divorce.
  Published 04Jun2008, viewed 497 times

• Love not Fear
  If you are in the throes of a divorce, you're probably on one of the strongest emotional roller coaster rides of your life. This splendid article provides practical tips for supplanting your fear with love.
  Published 30May2008, viewed 430 times

• Do You Drag Your Past Into Your Future?
  You might be amazed when you read this article how much of the past you are dragging into today's conversations and interfaces. You might cringe to learn how you are losing your present to your past. This old, not-working habit deserves your attention in changing it.
  Published 28May2008, viewed 384 times

• How To Listen With Complete Attention To Your Kids
  Listening to your children is one of the most important tasks as a divorced parent. It's not always easy due to your very full plate. Here are some great ideas to help you focus on your kids.
  Published 22May2008, viewed 477 times

• Are You Strong Enough to Forgive Your Ex?
  Four practical tips from Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger, for putting out the fire of emotions caused from divorce and putting your kids' welfare first.
  Published 17May2008, viewed 1784 times

• Guilty!
  If you are a divorced parent with kids who seem to "make you feel guilty," these words of wisdom will help you nip that guilt in the bud, help keep your kids from manipulating you, and keep the specter of a second divorce away.
  Published 14May2008, viewed 469 times

• Let's Be Honest
  When divorced parents expend a lot of energy pointing fingers of blame at one another, the children suffer. Here are some interesting words to help you become more objective for your children's sake.
  Published 30Apr2008, viewed 327 times

• Keep Your Cool
  Going through a divorce can really stir up emotions like margaritas in a blender. But if you're going to be the best parent for your kids, you need to turn the blender off and learn how to keep your cool.
  Published 29Apr2008, viewed 435 times

• He/She Cheated!
  When you're going through a divorce, we frequently experience our ex being defensive about his/her role in the divorce, when he or she might well have been the one who cheated! Let's be sure we don't assume blame that isn't ours to bear.
  Published 22Apr2008, viewed 326 times

• Are You A Divorced Parent With Enough Alone Time?
  Divorced parents seldom have enough time for themselves. Here are three practical tips to help you create that much needed alone time.
  Published 18Apr2008, viewed 432 times

• Forgiveness is Mandatory in Life and Especially in Divorce
  Parenthood is a privilege. You have one choice opportunity to help your children become successful, happy adults. You can't do this until you forgive their other parent. Here's how.
  Published 17Apr2008, viewed 557 times

• Monkey in the Middle
  During a divorce and long after it's final, your children will be asking you questions that make you squirm. Making them feel awful about the other parent that they still love is playing dirty.
  Published 10Apr2008, viewed 431 times

• Divorce Actually Helps You Discover the I of You
  You think that because the hammer of divorce has knocked you upside your head, it's shameful, painful, and a terrifying life that you're stuck with. Wrong! You're in the midst of a wonderful gift.
  Published 09Apr2008, viewed 298 times

• Finally Ready to Meet the One?
  When you get divorced, how long should you wait before you begin to date again? Only your children should be considered in answering this question.
  Published 04Apr2008, viewed 334 times

• Family Influences
  Everybody has a family of some kind. Some are great. Some are challenging. It's up to you how you accept their influences.
  Published 01Apr2008, viewed 463 times

• Expectations are Everything
  We all want to be happy. Divorce and happy sometimes don't seem to go together. Actually, though, you can control happiness if you'll watch your expectations.
  Published 27Mar2008, viewed 455 times

• Shame in Divorce is Arbitrary
  If you feel ashamed because you got a divorce or if the pressures from your friends and family make you feel like a failure, here's a little shot in the arm that will support you and encourage you to grow pat the blame and the shame.
  Published 25Mar2008, viewed 903 times

• How Not to Hate Your Ex or Feel Guilty About Your Divorce
  Divorce seldom enters one's life as a happy thing. It's usually accompanied by shock, blame, guilt, remorse, and a lot of "why me's?" Here are some keen insights into blame and guilt that can create a bit of ease for you.
  Published 21Mar2008, viewed 1870 times

• Eight Critical Communication Techniques
  If you try any one of these eight communicating with children tips a try, your success in parenting and your communication with your kids will both benefit.
  Published 19Mar2008, viewed 456 times

• Divorce Hurts. Individual Responsibility Heals.
  In the early days of the processing through your divorce, the emotional pain can be incapacitating. You might experience a whole range of emotions that hurt. Searching for the role you played in this can create the release you ardently seek.
  Published 13Mar2008, viewed 462 times

• Did you See It Before the Wedding?
  Our dreams of perfect relationship, perfect marriage, perfect parenting don't always play out the way we'd like them to. Divorce happens. Learn about the role YOU might have played in your divorce.
  Published 11Mar2008, viewed 316 times

• Do You Control Your Emotions or Do They Control You?
  Actors are trained to express their emotions on command. This kind of control is a wonderful skill. Have you ever considered exercising control over your emotions?
  Published 06Mar2008, viewed 331 times

• Being Fully Present With Your Kids
  Hurried and harried parents sometimes forget that one of the best gifts they can give their kids is to be fully present with them. Here's how.
  Published 05Mar2008, viewed 448 times

• Do Your Emotions Slam-Dance or Can You Be Objective?
  When you're newly divorced, your feelings get to slam dance. Later on, you'll really want to become more reasonable, more objective and this article tells you precisely how to get that done.
  Published 28Feb2008, viewed 638 times

• Are You Using The First 5 Effective Parenting Tips?
  You want your kids to have the best and you've only got one chance to create the kind of adult you want them to be: thoughtful, enthusiastic, productive, loving and hardworking. These tips complete last month's list of effective parenting tips to help you with this challenging task.
  Published 26Feb2008, viewed 493 times

• Are You Using These Five Effective Parenting Tips?
  If you use these effective parenting tips, you'll be on your way to a healthy and happier relationship with your children. Look for five more tips in our next installment in this series.
  Published 22Feb2008, viewed 368 times

• Raising Successful Children - Are You a Good Role Model?
  If you want your kids to be successful, help them become smart children by seeing the steps you are taking or have taken to become successful yourself.
  Published 20Feb2008, viewed 534 times

• The Top Five Divorce Mistakes: Are You Making These Common Mistakes During Your Divorce?
  Here are the five critical mistakes divorced men and women make when filing for divorce. Learn them now and head off subsequent problems at the pass!
  Published 14Feb2008, viewed 596 times

• Your Extraordinary Children: Is Making it to Nationwide Fame The Only Way You Will See Them As Succe
  How much does your child need to achieve before you seem him or her as a success?
  Published 12Feb2008, viewed 521 times

• Four Mental Steps to Provide A Balanced Life for Your Kids
  When you know the four parts to life's mental sandwich, you can insure that your kids are living a balanced life.
  Published 08Feb2008, viewed 526 times

• Qualities of Good Divorce Lawyers
  Five Key Tips for finding good divorce lawyers.
  Published 06Feb2008, viewed 630 times

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