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Article Directory :: Home & Family Articles
If you are a divorcee, you know full well that the emotional challenges that a divorce can bring are wide and deep and even more, no fun at all. I don't have to elucidate them, but I will. I think perhaps listing some that I've known and experienced might trigger off some in you that you've been pushing to the background with those "I can handle this" kind of thinking.
Being divorced makes you suffer self doubt. "What did I do wrong? Don't I know how to choose a mate? My family will think less of me. How will I be able to survive on my own?"
Divorce makes you suffer fear. "I am so afraid this divorce will be harmful to my children. How will I be able to hold down a job, run a house and take care of the kids by myself? The financial burden seems overwhelming on my salary."
There is an entire psychological array of negative feelings you go through when you are divorced, like: abandonment, fear, anger, and loss, grief, anxiety, sorrow, guilt, denial and depression. Each of these is inside you to some degree or another, which is why I'm writing an article about self-care. With all this buffeting, you've simply got to put some self-care techniques into place, or you won't be there for yourself, first, and your kids, secondly. Each of you deserves the best.
Self-care techniques.
- Learn how to meditate. Ten minutes of meditation will help you drain away negative thinking and restore your sense of can-do. - Exercise is another way to drain off stress and restore a sense of well-being. Find some exercise that you really enjoy.
- Organize yourself. Pick one closet, or your desk, and totally put it into order. Organization makes you feel good and if you do this continuously, one project at a time, before long the whole house will be organized.
- Eat consciously and only for the sake of enjoyment. Don't add any other thought to eating that is not about enjoyment, like "This is fattening." That kills the enjoyment.
- Talk to your friends. choose a time, perhaps after the kids are in bed for the night, and have some 'you time' with your friends. It's very rejuvenating.
- Use self-care products. If I were you, I'd set aside a small basket of self-care products that appeal to you. If you're a woman, lotions and potions can go into the basket. Special oils for your bath. Special bubble bath soaps. For men, aroma therapy candles, heel and hand therapy lotions, maybe a nice sugar scrub. I found one that smells like margaritas!
Being divorced doesn't have to completely decimate you. You'll eventually heal from issues of self-doubt. Remember: you are the key element in that formula called "My One Sweet Life" so don't leave you out of it. Take care.
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares with you the simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce and from the raising of his daughters. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. His is a heartfelt, visionary story of the success at the end of his divorce journey. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
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