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Pitfalls in Building Relationships, Commitment and Love - Starting With E

By Levi Reiss

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Published: 26May2009
Word count: 483
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We continue this series suggesting how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. You may know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We center on easy, empty, and erratic.

E is for easy. I know when you see the term you are likely to think of its sexual meaning, a woman who doesn't require extensive seduction. Funny, there does not seem to be any equivalent term for males. But here I?m not referring to the sexual sense. I mean easy in the sense of easy to figure out as in it's easy to know what Eddie will say on this issue. The implication is that Eddie won't even weigh the issues. Eddie won't even give people a chance to express themselves. His mind is made up. Don't try to confuse him with the facts; don't try to make it hard for him. He wants things easy.

E is for empty. You don't have to look very hard to decipher an empty person. What you see is what you get, perhaps even less. There just isn't anything there. It's not that they don't have what it takes; they just don't have. At least if they were depressed one might hope for them. But perhaps they are not truly empty; it's just necessary to draw them out. With a little work they might be insignificant; with a great deal of effort they may become dull and boring. At least that's moving forward; once they break the chains of nothingness there is no telling how far they will go. Maybe.

E is for erratic. If you are erratic no one can count on you. You may do a bang up job at work, or bang up your car. You may be up, down, or sideways. Steady there. That's what it takes, steadiness, dependability, and all that. At least if you are erratic you do have a good side that you can build on. You know what it is to do things right; you just can't make it happen on a regular basis. Try to understand what so often is keeping you from doing your best. Are you trying to bite off more than you can chew? Do you tire easily? When things do go right, and they sometimes do, try to understand how you managed to put it all together. Then all you have to do is repeat your best all of the time. Wait a minute. Even the top athletes have slumps. There is no way that anyone can perform at his or her maximum all the time. But you can try to move up your minimums.

Levi Reiss teaches computer and Internet classes in an Ontario French-language community college. He wrote ten computer and Internet books and now builds web sites. He is particularly proud of his new English and French (with translations) love and relationships site celebrating mostly spiritual and on occasion physical love at www.loveamourlove.com. His global wine website www.theworldwidewine.com features a weekly column reviewing $10 wines.

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