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Building Relationships, Commitment and Love - Starting With G

By Levi Reiss

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Published: 25Jun2009
Word count: 485
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We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter G. The focus is on gallant, genuine, and grateful.

G is for gallant. No, gallantry didn't go out with the knights of old. In these days when rudeness seems to rule the roost gallantry is just as important as it ever was, if not more so. Being gallant can be as simple as waiting to get on the elevator or bus until others have gotten off. It can also mean not grabbing that last cookie from the jar. It can also mean giving others credit where credit is due. Try it. You may surprise people. And you may be surprised by their reaction. Please note, gallantry does not mean that you have to roll over and play dead or that you let others run all over you. As happens so often, too much of what may be a good thing ends up being a problem itself.

G is for genuine. I know it's hard to be genuine when the suggestions made here are just not you. But as you grow, what used to be artificial can become genuine. The other day I avoided someone who I haven't seen in ages who always greets us with a How Are Youuu accentuated by a smile that must come close to paralyzing her jawbone or at least a dozen muscles. Come off it lady, be a bit more real. Don't pretend that you are as glad to see me as to find that long-lost winning lottery ticket. A simple little, genuine smile would go a lot further. Perhaps if I were really genuine I would tell her what I just told you. Perhaps, she'll read this article and figure it out for herself.

G is for grateful. The world doesn't owe you a living. As much as I want it, the world doesn't owe me a living. It's a good idea to start kids out young on the thank-you circuit. Be grateful for what you have. I didn't say be satisfied with what you have. There is nothing wrong with wanting more and so working for more. But don't spend your time stewing about what you don't have. Once again, it's important to let people know that you are happy for what they have done for you. If you don't they may look for and find grateful people on whom to bestow their largess.

Levi Reiss teaches computers in an Ontario French-language community college. He wrote or co-authored ten computer and Internet books. His web sites include a English and French (with translations) love and relationships site celebrating lots of love at www.loveamourlove.com. His global wine website www.theworldwidewine.com features a weekly column reviewing $10 wines and new sections writing about and tasting organic and kosher wines.

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