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The Top Ten Reasons I Hate Wine - Eight, Those Tastes, Those Smells

By Levi Reiss

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Published: 22Mar2009
Word count: 409
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It's true; I really do love wine and food from Italy, France, Germany, and other countries as well. And who among us can reject a bargain? But I also hate wine and oh so many aspects of the wine scene. Let me explain my top ten reasons for this love-hate relationship. My previous articles discussed the unconscionable expense, the embarrassing lack of knowledge, no wine cellar, I can't get the ... bottle opened, insomnia, food problems, and wine snobs. This article discusses the smells and tastes of wine.

After more than two years of fairly intensive wine tasting both in and out of the classroom, I am now able to decree more than just a floral nose when facing a white wine. And I no longer am limited to describing a red wine as fruity. I can taste the earth in a Pinot Noir, especially when I know that it's a Pinot Noir. And even more so when my glass is dirty. When it comes to tasting wine, you may have heard that there are no right answers. Like hell there are no right answers, sometimes I just can't find them. Nobody in their right mind would want to drink something that smells like gasoline, or would they? Yes, I know about Rieslings. At each and every wine tasting I almost hope that I'll be served a white wine smelling of gasoline. I'll be able to identify it as such right off the bat. What about cat pee? Who would ever want to drink such a concoction? And yet some Sauvignon Blancs...

I just got a great idea for a new grape variety; let's create an offspring of these two stalwarts. We'll introduce Riesling and Sauvignon Blanc to each other, get them a private dining room in a top of the line restaurant, and nine months or more likely several years later we will have a wine that combines the gustatory qualities of gasoline and cat pee. With my luck the issue of such a rendez-vous would probably be, floral.

On the other hand, we can look on the positive side. I never liked green pepper in my wine. Lo and behold, most reviewers and fellow wine lovers seem to share my feelings. So there still is hope. Here are the other reasons that I hate wine, to be explored shortly: Those colors, Home brew, One more problem and yes, The Solution.

Levi Reiss has authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but between you and me, he prefers drinking fine German, Italian, or other wine, accompanied by the right foods and the right people. He teaches various classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. His global wine website www.theworldwidewine.com features a weekly review of $10 wines. Visit his Italian travel website www.travelitalytravel.com.

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