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5 Ways To Endear Yourself To Your Divorce Judge

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Published: 26Dec2009
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If you want to avoid annoying your divorce judge, these tips will help. I can't guarantee that he / she will be in a good mood if you follow this advice. His / her attitude will depend on a number of factors none of us can control, like whether or not your particular jurist is constipated. These tips will give you a leg up, though, and so they are worth heeding.

1. Make sure you get to court on time. The judge may be late, at lunch, or drinking coffee in his / her office. There may be another hearing in progress when you arrive at the courthouse. Still, you better get there when the hearing is scheduled. If the judge is ready to go, he / she won't be real happy to find that you aren't there.

2. Make sure you are dressed for court. It shouldn't make any difference. What you say shouldn't be judged by what you happen to be wearing. However, if you show up after slopping your hogs or running a marathon, the judge won't be too impressed. If you and your clothes are neat and clean, you are showing that you respect the judge, and that you take your own case seriously. If you look or smell funny, it will make your testimony look less credible. Believe me, you want the judge to trust what you are saying.

3. Keep your cool. The judge isn't personally involved with you and your case. You may think your ex deserves the finger, or a cussing out, and maybe he / she does. However, the judge doesn't know him / her, and is likely to think you should treat him / her, and anyone else with courtesy and respect.

4. Make sure people who come to court with you realize that they won't help you by jeering and grumbling at the other side. Yes, it is possible that your ex will lie through his / her teeth. It is even possible for his / her witnesses to give testimony that is more interesting than factual. However, hissing and booing should be saved for sporting events. No judge feels that his / her courtroom is the proper place for the expression of popular opinion, no matter how tempting a choice editorial comment may seem at the time. It just won't help your case, and can detract from your believability.

5. Answer the questions you are asked. Don't add information you think may be more interesting to the judge. If your attorney doesn't ask you something you think is important, he / she may have a good reason for not bringing it up. When you spend enough time in front of a particular judge, you get a pretty good idea what he / she doesn't like to hear. If you think something important has been omitted, mention it when you get back to your table. If you are really concerned, ask the judge if you can talk to your lawyer before you continue.

Getting a divorce can be traumatic. It may be tempting to think that anyone in his / her right mind will agree with you as to what would be fair in your case. However, a judge will listen to both of you, and decide who is telling the truth after all the evidence is in. Human beings being what they are, it is easy to steer your judge away from what you are trying to prove if he / she finds your attitude rude or obnoxious. This is why you will do well to act as if you are the most dignified and intelligent person the judge has ever heard, rather than the typical angry respondent in a divorce case.

In her 27 years as a family law attorney, Lucille Uttermohlen has become an expert in divorce law, and maybe even more important, judges. For articles and free downloads on divorce and other couples issues, visit Lucille at http://www.couple-or-not.com If you have a question about divorce, unmarried partnerships, dating or marriage, write to Lucille at lucille@utter-law.com

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