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Article Directory :: Legal Articles
Marriage counseling can be a wonderful way to help couples work on their lives together. However, it's purposes are specific, and will not be achieved if either member of the couple has unrealistic expectations.
Marriage counseling is not a cure all for your marital ills. The counselor can't fix things between you and your spouse. There is no magic formula that will get your marriage back on track. All the counselor can do is help you and your spouse identify and learn to handle your areas of marital discord.
A marriage counselor can't take sides. If you go to counseling thinking that the counselor will justify your feelings, you will be disappointed. He / she can't sit there and pass judgment on you or your spouse. For the counseling to mean anything, you both have to feel confident that the counselor is neutral. If he / she takes sides, one of you is going to feel left out, and won't be confident that you are being genuinely understood.
Marriage counseling can't work miracles. If one of you is determined to end the marriage, a counselor can't do anything to change your mind. He / she may be able to help you reconsider your feelings, and in that way help you rekindle the flame. However, if you or your spouse go into the counseling with the attitude that it won't work, it won't. You both have to want to continue the marriage for this kind of intervention to be effective. After all, if you go to a doctor because somebody tells you to, and you have no interest in what the doctor has to say, you won't be cured just because you went.
The best thing a counselor can do is listen to both of you, and help you communicate with each other. Too many times, people get into bad habits when they talk. They say and do the same things over and over again, and don't understand why they keep getting the same results. It is a bit like working on a project until your eyes blur. At some point, you just can't be objective about what you're doing, and you're just going to keep making the same mistakes. After all, it may seem obvious to you, but another person still may not be able to understand your meaning. A counselor can help you both clarify your feelings so that you can better share them with your spouse.
When you find your marriage is on the rocks, don't be too anxious to end it. Remember, you and your spouse must have had some good times together or you never would have tied the knot. A marriage counselor can't make two unwilling people fall in love again. However, he / she can give you the tools to do it yourself if you are willing.
If you want to read more about divorce, paternity, marriage or other family law subjects, visit Lucille at her web site: http://www.couple-or-not.com . If you have a legal question, or just want to chat, write to Lucille at lucille@utter-law.com
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