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Victim of Stress and how it affected my family

By Martha Pajan

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 28May2008 Word count: 809 Viewed: 328 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

In 2005, I was a Mortgage Broker who owned 13 Units of Real Estate, in which I managed, and also operated a small formal wear boutique. When the mortgage industry changed guidelines for its programs, I was unable to help 65 % of my clients. I found myself working more hours. The boutique began to grow and required more of my time; I eventually began to work weekends altogether.

The same year we became determined to build a new home. We decided to save money and since I was self employed I would be the one getting all the bids and making sure the contractors were getting paid. My family consists of three girls of the ages of 18, 13, and the youngest 3, a wonderful husband and our loving dog Pinon. Every day I took the youngest to grandmas, one to middle school and the other to high school. The daily routine was the same for us. I would come home late screaming because the house was a mess and I would be upset with my husband because dinner had not been started. The relationship with my husband was shaky due to lack of communication. It was the same with my girls, my frequent questions were," where do you all have to be"? And "What time?", "what do you want for dinner"? "What do you need?". There was no "how was your day?", "can I help you with anything?", "is there something you would like to talk about?", "how are you feeling?", I love you! Nothing. I did not realize what I had become. What we had become?

I was busy with the apartments, the office, and the boutique and was not paying attention to their needs, and completely ignored my needs as well. I began to gain weight. I had headaches, stomachaches, increased urination, definitely lack of concentration, forgetfulness, drop of task performance, carelessness, outburst of anger, scared mostly at night, irritation of others and nightmares, and the worst is I had awful thoughts about things. I am thankful I did not hurt anyone or myself.

Last spring, my oldest left a letter in my car that was very upsetting. In that letter, she expressed how I was too busy for her and she didn't want to bother me. She mentioned she started smoking and was taking over the counter drugs frequently to calm her down in situations about school or personal life. She could not talk to Dad because he was drinking more than usual. When I read the letter, I was shocked. I thought I was being a great mom. My jaws dropped and I started crying like a baby. I could not get over what was in the letter. I thought "this only happens in the movies". I felt like throwing up. My body was shaking like a leaf.

I acted immediately. I phoned my husband to discuss the matter. We both left the offices and took the girls out of school. First we spoke with the middle school child. We asked her what was going on. She responded by saying that in the last few years we were not the same people. They felt alone. She did not give us a straight answer on what was going on with her oldest sister. She could not respond it was too emotional for her. At this point we were very worried. We sat down and confronted our oldest, she confirmed what was happening in her life and promised to stop.

A week went by and my husband confronted me. He said he was not happy with our way of living. Again I was pretty upset. This could not be happening to me.

We have our health, we live in our dream home, we have each other, we have beautiful children, what more could we ask for?

I know things happen for a reason and thank God my family is safe. I truly believe God has given me another chance with my family.

I took the bull by the horns and closed both businesses. Looking through the internet I found a home business opportunity. It is in the personal development industry. (self -help). I am very thankful for having a wonderful family who supports my decisions. Liberty League has transformed my life through their products and community. I am now living my life on purpose. Believing in yourself, faith and following a simple system has transformed my life. My mom has said she can now have a conversation with me; I am calmer when we speak. My oldest asks what I am doing because I no longer am angry. I am now listening to what their needs are not just hearing what their saying. I also volunteer at the schools and church. Be grateful for what you have every day. Everything is possible, nothing is impossible.

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