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One Thing Wrong - We Each Have A Unique Problem We Dislike

By Pat Matson

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 12Aug2009 Word count: 755 Viewed: 413 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

We have all heard the old saw "Bloom where you are planted," and yet each of us has something about ourselves that we don't like, don't want, won't tolerate, and want gone. Mine was being fat. As it so nicely turned out, obesity was the key element in unfolding a strong sense of spirituality and self-understanding.

I was told as an infant that I was fat. Patty Fatty was my nickname. Sweet thing to do to a small girl, eh? I also heard "You look like Aunt Ida." They meant my face looked like Aunt Ida's face, but because I already thought that I was fat, I could see that Aunt Ida was fat, so I thought they meant I looked fat like Aunt Ida. It was just more fuel for the fire.

I self-fulfilled the Patty Fatty prophecy as I entered into puberty, then high school, and then adulthood. I carried those thoughts of fat all my life. Eventually, I was completely successful at manifesting a large body. Well, once you've done that, there is a substantial habit in place.

I was also a seeker after Truth. I knew that spirituality was a grand goal for my life and I set out to accomplish that. It was a bit like "Hit the ball and drag Charley" if you know that old golfing joke. The sense of being fat went along with me in my search for enlightenment and unfoldment. It was my Linus blanket.

There was one very warm summer day when I decided to take a shower and lay on my bed under a fan to cool off. I completely relaxed into the moment and felt comfortable. My constant companion, thinking I was fat, popped up and asked me "Could you be any more comfortable if you weighed 100 pounds less?" I could not for the life of me imagine feeling more relaxed and comfortable than I was. It was then I decided that the size of my body had zip to do with anything else, and that my thoughts of being fat were, in fact, the very catalyst that had led me to this decision which I totally cherished.

My life changed from that point forward. I did an inventory of all the good I had unfolded because I was fat and that is when I discovered that searching for a resolution for my fat dilemma was the very thing that had pushed me into action, sent me off searching, took me to classes, led me to books, found me the right therapists and teachers. And folks, I began to cherish being fat. I'll bet that is repulsive to some of you, but trust me, I was so happy for the unfoldment it had pushed me into.

I remember that when I was in therapy, one of our sessions was about how each of us felt we had one thing wrong with us. My therapist was insecure because he thought his eyes were too close together. One of the other members in the group felt that the skin on the back of her hands was wrinkled and ugly. I, of course, kvetched about being fat.

I could see that their "one thing wrong" was a small nothing, but had become inflated by the sense of the individual worrying about it. Of course, I also had inflated my "one thing wrong." What was behind the worry about our "one thing wrong" in each one of us? I think it is something everyone has to resolve at some point and this puppy goes deep. Take a moment and look inside of you. Here is what I think is behind our "one thing wrong": each of us thinks we are not good enough.

Ah, but we are good enough. In fact, we are goodness itself. When I did some reasoning and journaling about that, it only made me love being fat even more. I owed this fat chick one heck of a payback for all she did for me. I have learned who I am in the big scheme. I have learned to love and accept myself in the fullness of acceptance. All because I was fat.

What's your "one thing wrong?" Is it holding you back from your unfoldment as obesity once did to me? Can you learn to cherish it and see what has done for you? You could turn this summer into the summer of your contentment and the beginning of a deepening of your spirituality.

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