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Do Words Like Fat, Chubby, or Obese Trigger You?

By Pat Matson

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Published: 05Jun2009
Word count: 579
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Our world here in the good old US of A doesn't include love and acceptance of a fat woman. In fact, quite the opposite is true and I'm confident each of you could share your stories about the lack of acceptance you've experienced. Without our even requesting it, we receive free advice and opinion from our doctors, our friends, our family and sometimes from perfect strangers! This activity occurs from the outside IN and it's exactly opposite of the direction that will work more harmoniously for us large people.

When these unrequested opinions travel down inside us, the journey is seldom made without hurt, anger, self-recrimination and a few smacks from the old I'm-not-good-enough wet noodle. We take in what the other has said to and about us, classify it as right and just, and then score a minus point on our report cards.

This habit needs some undoing. Okay, so you're fat. This isn't all that you are. You're also talented, smart, cute, loving, generous, sympathetic, warm-hearted, jolly, a great business woman - shall I go on? Why is it that the comments about our being fat seem to overshadow all the rest, when by sheer weight of quantity, our good points usually outweigh the one thing we don't seem to have a handle on - being fat? I think this question deserves a hearty answer.

Our society is an effect-based society. How you look, what you drive, which clothing you wear, what school you graduated from - these effects are held in much higher honor than what you are as an individual. That's kind of a shame, because it is one huge error we've all made. The truth about you is that you are a thinking individual, and because your thinking is causing the way you look as well as the experiences you have in your life, I'd like to encourage you to take a few moments to get your own sweet self back into the driver's seat of your life and let all this effect-based stuff waft over you like so many goose down feathers! Poof! No recognition from you and they are gone.

Here are some practical steps you can consider taking when someone tells you their opinion about your size and what you ought to do about it: - You can say "Thank you very much, but your opinion has nothing to do with me."

- You can think "That is telling me lots about you but it has nothing to do with me" smiling all the while.

- You can tell yourself the exact opposite of what they are saying to you to negate the effect of their words on your psyche.

I suspect that no matter which of the ugly words I choose to describe your body's condition - fat, chubby, obese, pudgy, rotund, large people, etc. - you might have taken offense. That's not my intention. The words exist. It's important you don't add more to their sting by taking offense. As one famous training once said "There's no difference between f*** and spaghetti. It's how YOU view it." Please don't get so buried by somebody else's words and miss the point that they have a very narrow perspective.

I think you are special just the way you are. I encourage you to think well of yourself too, while you're still fat. It's okay to be okay AND fat. Somebody else's lack of acceptance doesn't have to spill on to you.

Pat Matson's passion is spiritual awareness and understanding, acquired in the School of Fat Knocks. Being obese was the catalyst that kept her searching. She shares her novel concepts with other women of size, or women who imagine they are. Her book, workbooks, and teleclasses each more keenly insightful than the next live at The World of Within.

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