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Don't Let these Common Traps Destroy Your Satisfying Senior Sex

By Pat Wiklund

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Published: 16Jun2009
Word count: 662
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Intimacy, like all of our behaviors waxes and wanes throughout the course of any relationship. Be sure you don't fall into one of these common traps that can sidetrack your relationship and and lose the intimacy that you once enjoyed.

The most common trap is getting into a routine and end up with the same old same old every time.

As one couple said, "It's like we memorized a script and now just repeat it over and over again."

When your lovemaking activities become so predictable you'll soon find you're just going through the motions, rather than experiencing the closeness, intimacy, and satisfaction you once did.

The second biggest trap is keep trying to do what you did when you were kids. You know, with strong knees, flexible joints and amazing energy.

The problems come from our aging bodies that just don't function like they did when we were kids. Just don't slip into labeling yourself, or your love making as dysfunctional.

Body changes with age is not a dysfunction. It's life.

Lots of these changes are predictable, like men needing more time between making love. It's one of the two most noticeable changes and one that can have a significant impact on a couple's intimate life.

The other change is what happens to most women after they go through menopause. Menopause triggers a decrease in hormone production and lots of women find not having to deal with their monthly periods a relief. However, if that's the good news, the bad news is those same hormones they now no longer have are the triggers for vaginal lubrication when women are aroused. Without lubrication, lots of women find intercourse uncomfortable, if not downright painful.

The third big trap is getting angry or upset with the predictable changes of aging, with your relationship, or about other issues that have nothing to do with your relationship.

No matter what the source, unresolved anger is a desire killer. It's hard to feel loving when you're all tied up in knots with your anger.

If you hold on to your anger, it will just continue to fester, and make it even more difficult to resolve the issues that got you angry, and sabotage your love life in the meantime.

If this sounds like you, you have lots of company. Many lots of couples unwittingly fall into these traps. The key is finding your way out.

Unfortunately too many couples fall into the new definition of insanity when it comes to losing the intimacy in their relationship.

Keep on doing the same thing and expecting different results.

If things get really bad, they may enlist my own corollary to this definition:

If you whine and moan, complain and protest long enough, loud enough, often enough, something that's already happened will change.

Crazy I know. But don't we all catch ourselves doing just that? And then getting annoyed when things don't change.

Then easily slipping into giving up and figuring that part of your life is over.

The bottom line: enhancing intimacy is not something you can leave to chance or ignore. The times have changed, your bodies have changed, you can yell and scream, lie on the floor and kick your heels like a two year old having a tantrum, sure your intimate life is over, or at least thoroughly compromised.

Or, you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work together to restore the romance and enhance your intimate activities so they fit for you now.

And enjoy the same closeness, connection, and pleasure than many other older couples have come to find for themselves.

The key is in implementing the magic of formula:

Love is an action verb. For both of you.

Start showing your love, acting on it, as well as saying it.

And start reviving romance and enhancing intimacy regardless of how old you are or how old you get to be.

Thinking and worrying about your loss of intimacy just gets in the way. We need to take action. Start taking action by claiming your complimentary copy Sex Therapist Dr Pat Wiklund's latest audio learning program: more than an hour of tips, sex therapist secrets, and specific suggestions for making your senior loving more satisfying no matter how old you are or how old you get to be. Just go to==> http://SatisfyingSeniorSex.com/audio

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