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Stop Letting Low Desire Sabotage Satisfying Senior Sex

By Pat Wiklund

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 06Apr2009 Word count: 542 Viewed: 239 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

Low sexual desire is more than a stereotype. Diminished desire is a major factor in decreasing both the number of times seniors have sex, and the satisfaction they experience with senior sex.

Which is really too bad, because all intimacy, for both older and younger people, starts with desire.

The causes of low desire are multiple: relationship problems, personal feelings of anger or shame, fearing you're not as alluring or sensual as your body ages. Even doubts about your ability to "perform" any longer.

Far too many couples suffer in silence and start to avoid any sexual activity. Even casual affection. Uncertain of how to change things around, they just keep avoiding.

Avoidance is not the answer.

Use these tips to revive your desires and keep up your satisfying senior sex:

1. Pay attention to even a mild drop in desire. It's just too easy to slip into a downward spiral. Sure, if you've had a nasty cold, or too much hassle with your kids, a drop in desire is understandable. Just get back in the saddle quickly by looking to each other for affection and nurturing during tough times.

2. Intentionally add more hugging, touching, a quiet conversation in the midst of the hubbub. Give yourselves frequent reminders of how much you value and love each other.

3. A moderate decrease in desire is typically noticed in hindsight. One of you realizes its been 3 weeks since you've been intimate. or, you start feeling neglected or unloved. It's easy to blame yourself. While most senior couples have had these times, things won't change by "waiting it out."

You must take action or your drive will continue to diminish.

The quick how-to fix it is bringing it out in the open. Talk with one another about it. Oh, so easy to say and so hard to do sometimes.

I always prescribed a nice long drive in the evening to the couples I worked with for these conversations. In the intimacy of your car, in the dark, without having to look at every expression on each other's faces, these conversations are so much easier. So, off in the dark, just the two of you, and talk. Not about what's been but what you'd like instead. Simple words like "I've missed you" can go far to open the discussion.

4. But what if it's been more than weeks and months, maybe even more than a year? Whether your low sexual drive has become a fall back, choice or a habit...you're stuck in the rut. Not satisfied, but not sure how it started, when it did, or how to get out of it?

First step is to get honest with yourself and with each other. Determine if it's okay with both of you. For some couples it is. For many others, no more making love is not an option.

When lack of desire has lasted this long, impasse more often than not occurs. Whatever the trigger was for stopping, you will probably need professional help to get past it.

While reluctance is understandable, remember, then new definition of insanity is going the same thing and expecting different results. Nothing is going to change until you confront the problem and make some changes. Desire doesn't come back all by itself.

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