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Facing The Fear Of Dating Rejection

By Patrick Attlee

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Published: 24Oct2009
Word count: 519
Viewed: 331 time(s)

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Asking someone for a date is certainly no picnic but a lot of this is in your mind. If the person says no, well apart from a few dents in your ego, you are no worse off than you were before. It is this fear of rejection that holds us back but just imagine how you will feel if they say yes. You have to take some risks in life and asking people for dates is one of those times. The term "fair heart never won fair maiden" applies to both sexes, as does "fortune favors the brave".

Once you have a few under your belt, so to speak you will forget this fear of rejection and just chalk your such occasions up to experience. Also it is one of life's truisms that confident people tend to have more success in asking for dates than shy people as their whole body language and demeanor is attractive and this is all part of the cycle, once you get over your fear of rejection you will get more confident which in turn will lead to more dates. You can still be very nervous when you ask someone out, and this adrenalin is often a good thing but you don't want to show it to your potential date.

Rejection is part of life and happens to every single person at some point. If someone claims otherwise they are lying through their teeth! Rejection just means that that particular person does not want to go out with you. This may be for a host of reasons that may or may not have anything to do with the huge plaid sports coat you were wearing at the time. The fact of the matter is that not everyone is going to reject you. It may happen a few times but you will succeed more than you fail.

The important thing to realize is when someone means no. People doing the rejection will often sugar coat it so as not to be the crusher of dreams. They may say, "I'm busy right now, call me next week" with no intention of answering your call. Once you go through this a few times you will recognize the cowardly rejection and move on. So with this in mind, if you are the one doing the rejecting, don't take this easy way out. If someone asks you out and it just will never happen in a million years you can tell them no in a charming way that leaves them with their dignity intact and not laboring under any false illusions that you may be interested next week. It is all about sensitivity, remember you will also face rejection so be gentle but be clear.

So hopefully this has given you some food for thought around the thorny old subject of rejection. It is never pleasant but hopefully you can deal with rejection and rejecting with the proper courtesy and good grace and survive the ego bashing that at the time can be horrendous but in the end is trivial and not to be a reason to lose sleep.

Patrick Attlee has been writing and blogging about relationships for four years. He has recently started writing about the amazing visco elastic foam mattress ever since he bought a memory foam crib mattress for his toddler.

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