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Finding Time Strategies - 5 Assertiveness Training Tips to Set Effective Boundaries

By Paula Eder

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Published: 16Aug2008
Word count: 479
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'Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.' Jim Rohn

This means you're as rich as Bill Gates in life's most precious commodity!

Without assertiveness, though, you often sacrifice your valuable time to others' demands. Take charge of your time and your life right now by using these 5 assertiveness training tips for setting effective boundaries.

Assertiveness Keeps Your Time Wealth in Your Hands

Assertiveness skills are an absolutely essential and often overlooked tool. You can develop clear priorities and create a great to-do list, but if you're not assertive, others can and will override your time choices. Like the kid whose lunch money is stolen by the class bully, you need to protect your time wealth in a way that keeps you in charge without needlessly antagonizing others.

Establishing and maintaining your boundaries prevents others from begging, borrowing, and bullying you to give away your time. It may feel impossible now, but with practice and determination, you will make it second nature.

Use the Following 5 Tips to Establish Assertive Boundaries Successfully:

Assertiveness Training Tip #1: You, and only you, make the choices. No matter how strong the personalities of those around you, they simply cannot take time that you don't give. Embracing this assertive truth helps you claim your power. Don't fall into the trap of judging yourself for times when you didn't set a limit. If you didn't possess the skills and overview to set boundaries without serious repercussions earlier, it's simply a matter of learning those assertiveness skills now.

Assertiveness Training Tip #2: Set the stage to assert your boundaries. Set aside time when others are most likely to be receptive, use words they can hear, and explain your boundaries as calmly and pleasantly as you can. Remind yourself of your right and your responsibility to prioritize how you use your time.

Assertiveness Training Tip #3: Provide a context. People are much more likely to support you when they understand that your goal is not to punish or manipulate them, but to reach goals you deeply value.

Assertiveness Training Tip #4: Forget fruitlessly attempting to control others' responses. Making assertive time choices calmly and compassionately and accepting others' right to their feelings is the key to staying in charge of your time.

Assertiveness Training Tip #5: Maintain your boundaries. Rarely are significant boundaries that you set "one-shot deals". Expect to be actively reinforcing your new boundaries for some time to come. Each success builds on the ones before. And give yourself permission for one or two "slips". The overall track record is ultimately what matters the most.The longer you safeguard them, the less people will test your resolve.

You'll soon enjoy one of life's great discoveries: protecting your time actually feels like finding time.

What is your next step to develop successful time strategies?

Paula Eder, Ph.D., The Time Finder, uses her 35+ years of experience to guide clients to effectively align values with productive time choices. For free weekly time tips & award-winning monthly Ezines, visit http://www.findingtime.net/ezine.html And for even more time thoughts and techniques, visit our blog at http://www.thetimefinder.com

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