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Humility - The Curse of the Nice Guy

By Phil Gilliam

Republish: EasyPublish™
Published: 29Jun2009
Word count: 1250
Viewed: 265 time(s)

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What a joy it is to be the KING! I have approached, dated and had (and am still having) incredible experiences with lots of amazing and beautiful women ranging from conservative college students to strippers, love-the-world hippie types to cut throat executives; every race, religion, height and color....I love them all! I am willing to teach you everything; every tip, trick, secret, and tool I have ever used or learned from all of them and from all of my successes and failures! I am willing to narrate for you the lessons of the incredible team that advises, creates and tests other tools and techniques besides my own and brings even more expertise than my single opinion ever could. I will teach you if and ONLY if you are willing to get past your own ego and learn, take what you have learned, add your own unique twist and create amazing, loving relationships......are you interested?

If the answer is "yes," then read the following: It is the SAME message, but with a different delivery:

Hi, I hope you like me; I have had a ton of luck with women. I might have a few little tips and tricks that could help if you make the right moves. If everything works out you really could have a great life and have the women in your life that you want. If you want me to, I will teach you everything I know and if you like it and actually apply the lessons you to can be a king. Are you interested?

If the answer is no; then you have just had your first experience with the detriment that humility brings to the table in the first few moments of creating attraction and starting a relationship. Think about it....do you want to learn from the first guy and his team or the second guy?

Now ask yourself an even more interesting couple of questions:

Which of the two of them do you think is bringing a better deal?

Which of the two of these guys do you want to hang out with?

Which of the two of these guys do you want to call your friend?

Which of the two of these guys do you like more? Now you can easily put up an argument about writing skills, sales skills, personality, blah, blah, blah.....but the truth of the matter is that even though the first guy is presenting himself to you as being bigger than life and maybe even a bit arrogant, you wouldn't mind hanging out with him as long as he knew how to tone it down when it's appropriate, right? If he always talked to you like that you would lose your interest pretty quickly and want him to go away because he is just ridiculous and annoying, but in those first few crucial moments, were you not drawn to him? Aren't you curious about what he can bring to the table? A point you may have overlooked, but do you think he cares if you like him? Or do you think he is ready to walk away and move on to the next if you are not the right student for him?

The second guy is trying real hard to make you feel comfortable. Even though he is bringing the exact same tools to the table he is downplaying their value and the perception of his own value right along with it. Mostly in hopes that he does not offend you; I am guessing you are not as interested or intrigued. Not just that, do you believe him?

So what does all of this mean to you?

If you are not willing to put yourself out there and be proud of what you bring to the table in the first crucial moments when you meet a woman you are not going to make an impression.

We as men have been told quite incorrectly that tooting our own horn is not acceptable. We have been told that complimenting ourselves is bad form. We agree that a level of modesty is very alluring and adds mystery to your personality, but if you are unconvinced in your own head that you are the KING, then why would she be convinced you are bringing the Better Deal? Learning how to deliver that message verbally and non-verbally is the key. An important point for you to know is that it is NOT her job to work hard and figure out whether or not you are bringing a better deal. It is not her job to figure out if you are more fun than her current experience! It is your job to present those facts to her in a manner that she finds appealing and that is appropriate to her age and social status!

It does not make you any less of a nice guy if you are confident in who you are; if you are passionate about what you do and are not afraid to take the chance that someone else may not approve. You will actually become even more appealing to the women you desire. You can and will create an aura around you that people will want to be a part of and experience. This is one small element of what I call a Unique Appealing Persona.

When you take the time to truly create your own unique style and learn how to deliver that message in a way that women will be attracted to, you will learn that being humble will only hinder your ability to present and fulfill The Better Deal you are bringing to her. Humble does not mean timid or acting only when she gives you permission.

Now let's talk about the other side of the coin. Remember I mentioned knowing when to tone it down (or even go to extreme modesty) is a must. I was not kidding.....most of what we have discussed in this article is about understanding and believing that what you are bringing to the table is valuable to your audience. Whether it is the tens of thousands of guys who will read this article like yourself or the one gorgeous woman I have decided to spend some energy on. I must know what portions of my magnificent personality to let surface. Get the point? If I rolled up to the woman I am speaking about and gave her the spiel that I gave in the first paragraph, I would have a ton of work to do to get her to pay any more attention to me most of the time. I have used a similar approach, and will again, with amazing success and just as amazing catastrophes, but I am not afraid to try any approach once, hahaha......sorry, I digress.

The point is that you must not be afraid to put yourself out there, even if you are not doing it verbally, because that personal view of yourself will shine through your body language and tonality like a beacon of light. The brighter it shines, the more women will be attracted to you like moths to flame!

Let your humility take a bit of a vacation. It has been working hard for many years, so it needs one. Take a few risks and learn how you can make even obnoxious, self-promoting statements into a fun and enjoyable high point of your first meeting! With a little practice and testing you will be surprised at the results...I promise!

Phil Gilliam is the founder and president of AverageGuy, Inc. and a published author. His goal is to positively impact the lives of 1 million men through education and coaching. Visit AverageGuy.com to learn how to build confidence and give your humility a little break. When you join you'll get 6 hours of audio training to kick start your transformation into the confident, dynamic man you know you can be. www.averageguy.com/articles/confidence

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