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Mixed Marriages

By Phillip Ross

Republish: EasyPublish™ Published: 05Oct2009 Word count: 1049 Viewed: 305 time(s) Get Free Content For Your Site

When Paul says, "To the rest I say (I, not the Lord)" in verse 12, he suggests that what he is about to say has not been explicitly said anywhere else in Scripture. He is not demeaning his comment, as if to say that we are free to disregard it if we are so inclined. But rather, he is indicating that the Old Testament does not spell out how a believing spouse should treat an unbelieving spouse. Mixed marriages were simply not allowed in the Old Testament, but had grown in the New Testament era with the expansion of the Kingdom through the explosion of evangelism that gripped the Mediterranean area in the wake of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection -- and particularly in the wake of the destruction of Jerusalem in a.d. 70. As the Gospel brought in increasing numbers of Gentiles into Christ's churches, those Gentile Christians brought the problem of mixed marriages with them. Paul was simply addressing the problem, and noting that biblical scholars would not find reference to mixed marriages in the light of Christ anywhere else in Scripture.

Again, Paul was not saying that his instructions to Christians who found themselves in mixed marriages were optional. Rather, he was simply applying what he knew about Jesus Christ and the grace of the Gospel to this new situation. And by extension, he was showing us how to apply what we know about Scripture, the Gospel and Jesus Christ to new situations. His application of the light of Christ provides a model for us as we encounter new situations that are not explicitly covered in Scripture. Here we see how the foundational element of God's covenant is to be applied in the light of the grace and mercy of Christ's work on the cross.

Paul went on to say, "if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her." (1 Corinthians 7:12). Elsewhere Paul said "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14), which includes the marriage yoke. The reference to a yoke suggests an agreement or covenant. In verse 12 Paul was directing his comments at unmarried people. So, if you are not yet married, Paul says not to marry an unbeliever. That is not the ideal situation because unbelievers cannot recognize or honor their covenant with God, and it is the recognition of our prior covenant with God that provides the foundation for biblical marriage. Without that covenantal foundation, serious difficulties will ensue.

But if you are already married and become a believer and your spouse does not, what then? Paul turns his attention to this situation. And his advice is simple -- remain married if your spouse is willing to remain married. The reasons for this are several. First, marriage provides a great picture of our covenantal relationship with God. It provides a building block and a model for covenantal relationships of various kinds. The picture that Scripture paints suggests that God will not divorce Himself from His people even if they willingly try to divorce themselves from Him. God's grace is extended to all, except those who willfully reject it, because God knows that conversion will eventually come upon everyone who does not willfully reject Jesus Christ. This is not an argument against election, but is rather a goad to make one's calling and election sure. God will hang in there for the long run regardless of what the circumstances look like. And Christians should model God's love, patience and persistence.

Conversely, sinners should also realize that God's commitment to His covenant means that their rejection of God is not the end of the matter. But rather, God will eternally pursue those who reject and break His covenant with curses and judgments. The rejection of God does not break or end God's covenant. It only marks the individual as an unredeemed covenant breaker. Only God can break the covenant, but His promise is that He will not do so. God's covenant with humanity is eternal.

So, if the unbelieving spouse is willing to remain married, willing to honor the covenant of marriage with all its privileges and responsibilities -- even apart from the realization of God's role in it, then that marriage should remain intact on three counts: 1) in the hope of the eventual conversion of the unbelieving spouse, 2) as a model for covenantal relationships more generally, and 3) as a pillar of strength and hope for the children of the marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:14 raises the issue of sanctification, "For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." Notice that he said that they are holy, not that they will become holy. Reflecting our Baptistic and non-covenantal understanding of Christianity and marriage, we wonder how a believing spouse can be a means of sanctification for an unbelieving spouse -- much less for the children of a marriage! This idea of covenantal sanctification is found elsewhere in Scripture. For instance:

"For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself" (Acts 2:39). "This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring" (Romans 9:8). "he will declare to you a message by which you will be saved, you and all your household" (Acts 11:14). "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household" (Acts 16:31).

The issue in these verses is about God's authority and the means of salvation. What makes the gospel effective unto salvation? How are people saved? Paul asked it this way to the Galatians,"Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith?" (Galatians 3:2). To the Romans he said "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ" (Romans 10:17). Putting them together we see that salvation comes by hearing God's Word.

Consequently, the believing spouse will speak the gospel in the context of the family and the unbelieving spouse and children will have the opportunity to hear it.

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