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Develop Your Mindset for Loving Kindness

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Published: 04Jul2009
Word count: 572
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Mindset plays a pivotal role in human behavior. Think of mindset as a habit or "second nature" to you. When a person is not nice to you, your immediately reaction to that person may become habit forming. To illustrate, your mind tells you: "I won't let him or her step over me!" Over time, your response will become spontaneous - a natural way of expressing your individuality and your rights. In other words, it becomes your mindset.

Showing loving kindness is not about "an eye for an eye." Nor is it about your "rights." Loving kindness is beyond these. It is an act of compassion that you consciously express to another individual simply because that individual has the same desire to be happy and to avoid suffering as yourself. Accordingly, your response is a reflection of your love for that individual, irrespective of the behavior of that individual towards you. However, that does not imply that you accept, approve, or condone that behavior. Loving kindness is your response in an attempt to "change" the inappropriate behavior of that individual, and the outcome of that attempt does not affect your response.

Withholding loving kindness is also a mindset that one may have acquired through one's culture, or one's repeated observation of similar responses towards similar behaviors. Fortunately, any bad behavior or inappropriate mindset can be changed or replaced by a positive one.

There are several ways to develop your mindset for loving kindness.

Develop the mindset for gratitude. If you are grateful to God for what you have, you may look at the behavior of another individual with more tolerance, or with a different perspective. Blessings in life, such as the gift of life, are generally overlooked or taken for granted. For example, if someone takes advantage of you, do not become angry; instead, be grateful that you are the victim instead of being the victimizer.

Develop the mindset for a positive outlook. Smile more often. Keep complaints about people, things, and life in general to yourself - unless voicing them will bring about positive changes.

Develop the mindset for always seeing the good in others, and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Try to remember that all people are created in the image of God. Focus on the individual, rather than on the behavior or belief, which may not be appealing to you.

Develop the mindset for reflective response. Avoid being impulsive and jumping to conclusion without evaluating the circumstances.

Develop the mindset for living in the present moment, which is the only time real to you. The past was bygone and irrevocable, and the future is illusory and uncertain. Only the present is real. The present is a gift from your Creator, and that is why it is called "present." The present is the time to practice loving kindness.

Develop the mindset for sparing unwanted advice. In spite of the well intention, people may not welcome your honest opinion even if it is solicited.

Develop the mindset for forgiving and forgetting the wrongs of others. To be forgiving without forgetting is withholding loving kindness. Any hidden grudge or resentment undermines your emotional health.

Even though you may have developed the mindset for loving kindness, it is human nature to relapse. Therefore, you should be mindful of loving kindness at all times and in all places.

Stephen Lau is a researcher and writer. He has published several books and many blogs and websites on holistic health, natural healing, depression, eating disorders, and golf. For more information, and get your FREE 134-page e-book "All-Round Weight Loss" go to: All About Stephen Lau. Also, visit his blog: Secrets of Happiness.

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