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Focus - A Success in Your Attraction with Women

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Published: 19Aug2009
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Don't worry - I'm not going to have a political discussion here. My political views would probably be considered very weird anyway.

But I have to say, I've been really entertained by the Presidential Debates.

You see, I tend to view everything through the lens of a social scientist. I'm always analyzing the subtle dynamics in social interactions.

And the recent presidential debates have been, as always, a clinic in social dominance.

What most people fail to understand is that the content of each candidate's message is pretty insignificant compared to his non-verbal communication.

The candidates that tend to fare well are often the most dominant in their mannerisms.

But these mannerisms are not what you'd think - a lot of what conveys dominance is counter-intuitive, and communicates directly with your subconscious, and NOT your conscious mind.

You see, as the candidate talks, your conscious mind is listening to his WORDS.

But your unconscious mind is watching the WHOLE of his OUTPUT, or as we call it in the Attraction Code, "Expression."

Your subconscious is concerned with some basic questions:

"Does he believe what he is saying?"

"Is he used to people submitting to him and getting his way?"

"Is his intention selfish or altruistic?"

"Is he calm and happy, or depressed - is life defeating him, or is he dominant and in control of his situation?"

The interesting thing is that the guy who's coming with the most anger, the most attacks, and the "tough war veteran" attitude is actually NOT the most dominant of the two candidates.

Of course I'm talking about McCain.

Now all political persuasions aside, let's look at the clear winner in each debate in terms of social dominance (which is the real competition between these two guys).

Here's my favorite Obama quote from the debates - it sums up the kind of dominant focus I try to instill in my students.

When questioned about being personally attacked, and called a "terrorist" at McCain/Palin rallies, Obama replied, "I don't mind being attacked for the next three weeks. What the American people can't afford is four more years of failed economic policies. When people suggest that I pal around with terrorists, then we are not talking about issues."

Wow. This is powerful stuff, and I'll explain why.

There's a lot going on here, but for clarity, I'm going to break down Obama's mindset in three categories:

1. Emotional stillness
2. Strong, unwavering focus
3. High-road ethos

If you've been following the debates, and each party's campaign, you'll agree that Obama is super-cool.

He never comes undone, never gets upset. He's either calm and attentive, happy and lighthearted, or determined and assertive.

But he's never angry, defensive, annoyed, or flustered in any way.

And I don't think he's faking. From my trained eye, this guy is for real.

He has his emotional state completely under control. As we say in the Attraction Code, he is

SELF-CONTROLLED.

And this stems from having a STRONG, UNWAVERING FOCUS. In the quote, you can see how Obama's focus is never swayed or distracted.

His mind is filled only with his primary concern - becoming the President, so that he can use his policies to improve the lives of Americans.

Now the question of whose policies are better is not my concern here. You can make an argument for both candidates.

The difference between the candidates is that Obama cannot be distracted from his message, while McCain, in several instances gets caught defending himself, and attacking Obama.

Obama just coolly repeats his message, and his basic argument that McCain's policies will resemble those of George W. Bush.

Look at the quote. He could have easily criticized those at the rally for being racist or ignorant.

But that's not the point, and he knows it. The debates are not about who said what at some rally.

The debates are about who will run the country for the next four years.

Instead of ridiculing the McCain camp for allowing such ignorant behavior, he instead brings the focus back to the purpose of the debate.

"When people suggest that I pal around with terrorists, then we are not talking about issues." He transitions this distractive focus right back to what we should be paying attention to. And he does this, I think, because he WANTS to focus on the real issues, because he believes MORE STRONGLY in his plan than McCain does.

If you look at the history of each party's campaign, McCain's camp has changed their slogan, their message, and their policies several times in an attempt to keep pace with Obama.

Now I don't know if Obama is just operating on a higher intellectual plane than McCain, or if he has a better staff, but this guy's campaign has been flawless and powerful since day one.

And that tells me a lot about what kind of administration he will have if elected.

I'm still not sure if his policies will help or hurt my business, but the level of organization and integrity he exacts from his team can only help our country.

Even their image branding - an American Flag re-worked as a sunrise on the horizon - beautiful.

Lastly, Obama's primary intention relies on a strong inner-map of values.

We go over this extensively in or Drills Workshops, helping our students clarify and enact their core values so they have a strong foundation for social situations.

A man can only stand strong if he knows what he stands for. The problem is most guys don't actually know what they stand for.

Obama has a very clear set of ethics based on his core values. He knows what is important to him, and he doesn't compromise that.

He values certain policies, but overall, he values helping the lower and middle class improve the quality of their lives.

On the other hand, McCain probably puts the success of large and mid-sized businesses first, as he feels this will eventually create more jobs.

But the difference is in how McCain defends his opinion compared to Obama. And the difference is sub-communicated with body language, eye contact, vocal tonality, and overall emotional state.

Obama puts his values first and foremost in his mind. He doesn't allow his energies to be sucked into the games of negative politics.

He plays his game and he plays it well. He focuses only on what he feels is important, and doesn't get emotionally upset when others act hostile or try to distract him from his focus.

This is dominance personified.

I happen to be in the business of cultivating this dominant personality in men.

I've made a career out of helping guys achieve their highest potential when it comes to women, and social dominance is a HUGE part of this.

Get any girl's phone number: Body Language And turn the type of woman your friends go green with envy over, into your loyal girlfriend: How to be a player.

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