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Dating tips for men: Improvisation

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Published: 23Jul2009
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There's a myth out there that says a man has to be interesting to attract women. You even hear women espousing this garbage themselves.

If you ask a woman what she would like a guy to say as an opening line, they say things like, "say something interesting" or "I like a man to make me laugh," or "be unique, don't just say what all the other guys say."

OK sweetheart, I'll do my best to be as interesting, funny, and unique as possible, all at the same time.

I'll even take a survey from every other male on the planet to find out what they've said, so that I know what not to say.

Yeah, that's sarcasm.

Here's the thing - I'm not angry at women for their opinions. Who wouldn't want to be approached with a good joke or interesting comment?

The problem is in the question itself, or rather the ASKING of that question.

You see, the focus that spawned that question is the same focus that prevents a guy from being funny, interesting, or unique.

If you know anything about improvisation comedy, you know that as soon as you TRY to be interesting or funny or unique, you will most likely say something boring, lame, and typical.

One of the fundamental rules of improve is to allow yourself to be boring, stupid, silly.

This frees up your mind to think creatively - it's like your mind is only creative when the pressure is off. When your thoughts are filled with expectations, there's no room for new ideas!

We can learn a lot about successful socializing by studying the principles of improv-comedy. In fact there's a guy out there who's built his whole pickup coaching career using the rules of improve-comedy.

He's one of the more well-known guys in this business, and for good reason!

Spontaneous, natural behavior is always more attractive and effective than premeditated, scripted lines and routines.

But simply improvising approach after approach is not the best thing either.

At some point, you need to start connecting the dots, putting the pieces together, and seeming the commonalities that arise in each interaction.

That's why I teach structured natural game.

You see, a guy needs an element of structure, and a goal, otherwise he starts spinning in circles and ultimately shuts down.

This is why men have so much trouble staying in conversations with women. They can't figure out the goal, the point of the whole thing, and they don't have a framework within which to work.

Let me give you an example.

If are commissioned to draw a picture, without any rules or limits, you will be stumped.

"Draw us a nice picture." Sounds easy enough...until you put the pencil to the paper. What to draw?

Every idea you have seems clichéd and boring.

But what if you were given a structure within which to create?

"Draw something using only shades of blue and green, and it must fit these dimensions. Also, it should give the viewer a sense of calm. Beyond that, use your imagination."

Ah, now we have something to work with - a starting point as it were.

See, I know how guys think. That's the reason why my Drills Bootcamp is so successful, and gets such dramatic results in my clients.

Pickup is not a stage without rules, without limits, without a purpose and structure.

But it's also not a scripted play, the same performance every time.

Pickup has principles and dynamics necessary for success.

Women are attracted to certain traits, and respond with some level of consistency to certain behaviors.

You can do this with your natural personality - the way you fill in a coloring book with YOUR COLORS.

There is an infinite amount of creativity possible in pickup, simply because there are basic principles you must satisfy.

The good news is, you are already built to satisfy women's needs, and to learn how to maximize your odds.

You've been taught to NOT do these things.

Get any girl's phone number: Dating Tips And turn the type of woman your friends go green with envy over, into your loyal girlfriend: Dating Tips for Men

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