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Stuck in The Player Phase?

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Published: 19Dec2009
Word count: 710
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Are you stuck in the player phase?

Every aspiring pickup artist goes through it.

The player phase.

Women are calling you a player every time you try to pick them up. They ask you things like, "how many girls have you talked to tonight?"

Or, "You seem like a player. Do you get with a lot of girls?"

And of course, the answer is probably yes.

But you try do deny it (at worst), or sarcastically agree (better). But the issue is not how you respond.

The issue is that you acted in a way that prompted her to even ask.

Once you start to get confident approaching women, and you become more consistent with getting phone numbers and dates, you will tend to get a little cocky.

You'll start remembering lines that worked well, and you'll repeat them.

You'll push escalation and be more aggressive.

You'll go for numbers, or try to pull much sooner.

And this will set an alarm off in her head. "Uh oh, this guy does this all the time."

No woman wants to be a notch on your belt. Even if she is, you don't want her to feel that way.

So you must get out of the player phase.

In fact, it's crucial if you want the really quality women. I'm talking about women who are not only beautiful, but intelligent, cool, and have high self-esteem.

These kinds of women don't respond to players. They respond to REAL men.

If they sense "game" or some kind of act, they will quickly dismiss you.

If you approach confidently, you must actually BE confident. If you are not, she will dismiss you.

But if really ARE THAT GUY, you're in!

So how do you get to that point?

It's actually counter-intuitive.

You have to let go of your game. You have to allow yourself to fail, to mess up, to not get the girl.

You have to move away from specific outcome-dependence, and move towards being yourself on the deepest level, acting from your core.

This will take some time, but it's crucial to reach the highest level of pickup, where everything is simple, easy, and natural.

You can't create a genuine connection with a woman if you aren't being yourself. And a genuine connection is the first step towards eliminating flaking from the women you meet.

What you want is a high conversion ratio, with minimal effort. And this comes from being genuine, confident, and having fun with women.

When you aren't trying to make her think a specific thing, or try to get her away from her friends before she's ready so you can have your way with her, you will be able to create a natural connection with women.

Not to say that you'll connect with every woman, but at least it will be a possibility, and will happen more often than not.

But this requires that you're interactions don't sound scripted and overly-smooth. If you are going out a lot and you have a set pattern of interacting, you will come off too smooth.

Being smooth can mean two things. It can mean that you zip through all the stages of a pickup too quickly, as if you're going through the motions.

This is player behavior.

But there's a good kind of smooth. You are calm, and never get upset.

You handle logistics without any major stumbles.

And you escalate at the pace that is comfortable to the woman - you are paying attention to her, and you're able to hold a conversation long enough for her to feel comfortable.

When she reaches a critical level of comfort, she will become intimately receptive, and will allow you to take things further.

But this requires conversational mastery - you must be able to lead the conversation, and do so indefinitely (however much time it takes for her to get comfortable).

You must have the skills to make her feel that

a) she knows you well b) and you know her well

This requires storytelling ability, emotional language, and great question-asking.

Get out of the player zone and be a REAL, naturally attractive man.

Get any girl's phone number: Dating Tips And turn the type of woman your friends go green with envy over, into your loyal girlfriend: Dating Tips for Men

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