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Why Women are Scared of You?

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Published: 28Aug2009
Word count: 864
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I remember shoplifting when I was a teenager. I didn't do it often - only a couple times, but I vividly recall how nervous I was.

I was in the mall, at a clothing store, about to carry out a plan to steal a sweater.

A friend of mine had told me how to do it. You take a pile of shirts into the dressing room, and put one of them on under your shirt. Then just walk out like nothing happened (this was before the time of alarms and cameras).

As I entered the store, I got very nervous. I wandered around, trying my best to "look normal," and wandered probably every aisle looking over all the stuff as if I planned to buy something.

I was extremely self-conscious and paranoid, thinking that all the sales people were watching me.

And I was stalling - I kept procrastinating until the "perfect moment."

After circling the store twice, I finally got some shirts and went into dressing room. I put the sweater on, put my shirt over it, and stood there, terrified of what came next.

Finally I walked out, and, trying not to sprint, walked briskly towards the entrance.

And then I was outside. Whew!

The funny thing is, the emotions I felt throughout this ordeal were the same emotions I felt when I approached women when I was younger.

I'd feel nervous, guilty, and paranoid that everyone was watching me. And if I actually could pull myself together enough to say something, I'd quickly eject and escape to safety.

Now here's the thing. After many years of experience, I finally realized something.

The more nervous and scared I looked, the more nervous and scared women would be.

I used to think that my nervousness was rubbing off on them. But this was not the case.

Think about what it means if someone is nervous about doing something.

It means they don't feel they are doing something good, or that they have anything of value to offer.

Nervousness is very close to guilt. And I think men feel nervous when approaching women because they feel as if they are trying to GET something from women, instead of OFFERING something the woman might like.

Read that again and contemplate the message you are sending women with your vibe.

If you are coming in timid, quiet, unable to hold eye contact or say what's really on your mind, think about how this looks to a woman.

It looks like you're about to ROB HER!

Basically, you are conveying that you have nothing GOOD to offer, but rather, you want to GET something from her, or DO something TO her.

And if you feel bad about your intention, this sends the message that your intention is BAD or harmful to her.

As a man, you know that harming a woman is the furthest thing on your mind. But women don't know this.

All they see is a guy twice her size, who could easily hurt her if he wanted to. To her it's unimaginable that you'd be intimidated or scared to talk to her.

She's the one who's vulnerable, not you!

Here's why you are really nervous when you are talking to a woman:

You think you must impress her, and you think that women don't like mating.

These are bogus messages we've been taught since childhood. Women are pure and clean and don't think about mating all day like men do.

And if you want to be in bed with a woman, you must impress her so much that she will DO YOU THE FAVOR of having intimate with you.

But here's the problem - you have NO CLUE how to impress a woman.

Or maybe you think you have to be rich or good-looking, and you think you are neither.

So you feel you have nothing to offer, or you don't even know WHAT to offer.

And to make it even worse, you feel like she'd be doing you a favor, that spending in bed with you would be some kind of inconvenience for her.

Guys can also scare women by being too aggressive, but most guys aren't guilty of this unless they are drunk.

I think this is actually the same as being timid and nervous - it comes from the same place of insecurity.

So what should you do?

Well you have to be full in your expression. This conveys that you have something good to offer.

It's like you're saying "I have nothing to hide, and no reason to mask my intentions. I'm a great guy!"

Be loud, look her in the eye, speak your mind, and talk about what really interests you.

Women can spot a guilty intent a mile away - and it's so common for guys to act like this that women stereotype and assume that every guy is trying to be sneaky in order to "get some."

So don't be surprised if they project this onto you at first. Just keep it real and they'll realize you are different.

It actually works, but you have to know how to get there, and you must understand female psychology.

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