I was talking to a dear friend of mine on the telephone, who has a child with autism. She was telling me, how she feels rejected, not part of her family, relatives, and friends, because of her son with autism. Do you ever feel this way, or have felt this way? I do understand those feelings, and I can identify with them. I have experienced that many parent(s), caregiver(s), are feeling rejected because their child has the disorder of autism.
Many of us have grown up on a "turn table" trying to please most of the people we know, so they will not reject us. We want to be perfect or desire to be perfect in the eyes of others. You now have a child with the disorder of autism, and you are discovering you feel out of the "normal" crowd. You are rejected from the people that you wanted to be accepted with.
You are probably thinking and feeling that the only way to be accepted from being rejected, is through your performance. Which means, your child now has autism, and if you do what others in your group want you to do, you will be accepted. Since your child is autistic, your thoughts are, they will probably reject you. Having a child with autism does not make you as parent(s), caregiver(s), "abnormal", or should it make you feel rejected.
I have had many discussions with my friend, concerning her feelings of being rejected because she has a child with the disorder of autism. We have discussed and agreed, that you do not have to be perfect whether you have a child with autism, or child who does not have autism.
Yes, there are people who will not accept you and will reject you because your child is autistic, and you do not perform perfectly to please them, or are up to their standards. In reality, what does it matter if other individuals will reject you, because of your child with the disorder of autism?
You as parent(s), caregiver(s), do not have to feel you need to please people, so that you are accepted and fear you will be rejected, now that your child is autistic. It is imperative for you to know, you and your child have many talents, gifts, and do not need to express the feelings of rejection.
I have been in your situation. I have tried hard to prove myself in the area of being accepted, so I would fit in, and not feel rejected because of the disorder my brother had.
I came to the conclusion, and I hope you do also, that you as parent(s), caregiver(s), are not rejected because of a child with autism. You may feel that way, but the truth is, the people who are rejecting you, are in reality rejecting themselves.
Grow and learn from your child, become more educated with new research that is being done for autism, make new adjustments, changes and challenges. In addition, by doing this, it will give you new hope, and will help you break those feelings of being rejected.
We all have an inbred need to be loved. But, we do not need to perform so we are not rejected. You, and your autistic child, will experience that blows of life knock you down, but the important thing to remember is not to stay down. You will develop the quality of rebounding from rejection as you become stronger in knowing, that you will soon develop confident strong feelings of being accepted.
Learn and grow by gaining knowledge about autism. Keep updated on the new research that is being done, and make good choices of who your friends are, and the people you want to spend time with. Many individuals do not understand autism, nor do they want to know about it. Therefore, if people in your circle, are rejecting you because of your child with the disorder, choose new friends that understand, and they will give you the support you need.
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