Going through the divorce process is bad enough, let alone having the process takes place during the holiday season. Dividing time with your children is never going to be easy. It becomes especially difficult to be rational when consumed with the emotions of the season. The one thing both parents need to do is realize that whatever is in your children's best interest is what is in yours. With some compromise from both you and your spouse the holiday season can be one that the children experiences stress free.
It is so important that any talks that are associated with the pending divorce and child custody arrangements are kept to a minimum during the holiday season. Wait until after the holiday passes. The last thing you wish is for your children to forever associate the holidays with their parents' divorce.
It may be extra hard not to overdo the gifts this year to compensate for what life is throwing at them. That however, is one of the worst things you can do as a parent going through a divorce. Too many gifts won't make up for the fact that their parents are no longer together and will end up haunting you down the road.
If it is at all possible speak with your spouse about what gifts they are interested in getting the children. It may be incredibly difficult to work together but it will only benefit your children not only in the short term but in the long run as well. If one of you is going to buy the dream house, the other should be in charge of accessorizing. If a play station is going to be purchased then be the one to offer to buy the games. Working together on little things like this will go a long way in your ability to work together through the bigger issues that will arise.
Work as many of the traditions your children are used to into the holiday. If for instance, your spouse's family does a big dinner Christmas Eve let your children go even if it is your night to be with them. Your children benefit from this not your spouse. Hopefully they will do the same the next time your family has something going on and it is not on your scheduled parenting time.
Work new traditions into this holiday season. It will be different from what the children are used to. Wok to celebrate new opportunities. If your spouse hated the mess of a fresh cut tree, now is your turn to take the kids and chop down a fresh cut Christmas tree. That can be a new tradition that you start and carry on with your children.
The bottom line is that no matter what time of year you are going through a divorce it is going to be difficult for your children. The difference around the holiday is that this is the time of year they were used to spending the most time together as a family. Balance and a positive attitude will help you not only survive the holiday but truly enjoy the season with your children.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom's in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.