You Can't Hurry Love - The Truth About Casual Sex

Sex. Probably the most divisive topic between men and women, whether they're straight or gay. We're all keen to talk about it when it's going right and we're happy, but when things aren't so good, we're not so keen to be open. It's an interesting dichotomy - we're more open these days than ever, thanks to the presence of the Internet - yet at the same time, there are still so many taboos and misconceptions floating around.

There are two distinct camps when it comes to casual sex - those who like it, who see no wrong in it - even if they're already in a stable, loving relationship and those who would never go there, ever. Even if it meant they went without for the rest of their lives. For them, sex is a loving bond of trust, sacred and something to be treasured - not an act that happens quickly, when drunk on a Saturday night.

Whilst it is all down to personal choice and what suits you, the long term effects of casual sex can be emotionally and physically scarring - especially if you're not suited to that kind of thing. Studies have shown that people who have engaged in short or long term casual sex very often feel more anxious, depressed and less emotionally fulfilled, than those who have been in stable, long term relationships with their partner or spouse.

You'll probably find that there are many differing opinions on what is right and wrong, and how people react when the topic is brought up. Here are just a few of the many different types of casual sex that people have actually owned up to doing.

The booty call: Probably the most well known. It's very late at night - you may have been drinking and feel in the mood, but haven't had any better offers. So what do you do? You call a "friend-with-benefits" and meet up for some late night lust. Not necessarily any harm in it, but at the same time not a healthy habit for either of you to get into, especially if, at some stage in the future either one of you gets into a serious relationship whilst the other one stays single. This can cause problems for both parties.

Might only be something that happens from time to time and not a regular thing, but the "need" to sometimes go back and experience a feeling that you had with someone you once loved is more common than you think. Many couples who have split report that they've either been tempted or have actually gone back and slept with their ex as a one off.

Pity Sex:
Oh dear. No. Not a good look, but something that people do confess to doing - this is the "art" of sleeping with someone you're not really that attracted do, don't necessarily want to be with, but conversely they like you and always have done - so you sleep with them "as a one off" to make them feel better. Totally wrong, not justifiable and pretty low to be honest.

Warm blanket sex:
This is the type of sex we very often see in the movies. You might feel low and sad and need to feel a connection to someone, so you have a one off with someone in order to assuage your feelings of loneliness. The sex might actually be slightly more romantic and slow - especially if you're both feeling blue, but the end result is still the same. Guilt.

Lucian Alvin is a product reviewer for Be Better Lover, the site dedicated to your sexual happiness. Have you got some questions about becoming a better lover? Log onto our site and talk to our experts about all the products and even some love making tips and secrets at =>

This article was published on 22 Aug 2014 and has been viewed 1522 times
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