The news has been revealed that your child is now diagnosed with the disorder of autism. You are feeling it is your fault. You do not know why you feel this way, or can you explain why, but you are taking on the responsibility that it is your fault, which is also causing guilt. I know for a fact that guilt will turn into depression.
I have felt and experienced times when the trials and difficulties of life stretched me too far. At such times, I have felt physically exhausted, mentally drained, guilty and that the situation was my fault. I started to blame myself, tell myself it is my fault.
I felt this way when my brother was diagnosed with his disorder. We were two years age difference and my sister and I were his only siblings. I remember, I felt if only I could be a better sister, or live in a bigger or better home, my brother would not be the way he was. I felt it was my fault that caused his disorder, because he was a boy and my brother. As I was blaming myself, I was also feeling guilty.
I learned through the years that I was blaming myself, and believing it was my fault because of the disorder my brother had. I finally came to the conclusion, it was not my fault. You as parent(s), caregiver(s), family, and siblings must realize it is not your fault, nor should you blame yourself, if your child is autistic. Although, you are accountable to your child, but you are not responsible for his or her disorder of autism that was diagnosed.
Take responsibility which requires a commitment. Be willing to be open, honest and vulnerable in sharing your feelings of what you believe is your fault, with other parent(s), caregiver(s), who also have children, and raised children with autism.
Find groups or someone who cares, and takes the time to understand your struggles, and can motivate you to persevere. This person or group, should be available to understand and have the knowledge that it is not your fault, because you now have a child with the disorder of autism. You need encouragement, which comes from people who are the loving involvement in your life.
You might want to be involved in small groups that will benefit you by talking about your feelings of believing it is your fault, due to the fact your child has the disorder of autism. This will help you to be more clear, and understand why you feel the way you do, and how to move forward with positive feelings.
It is wise to take into consideration, if you choose to attend or start a small groups for encouragement, be careful to consider whom to include in your inner circle. Confidentiality is essential, so never choose a gossip group, or you will find that your privacy will be broken, and could cause more of an impact on feeling it is your fault for the birth of your autistic child.
It is imperative to persevere, by taking one step at a time in the right direction. If you do not, your feelings could lead to depression.
Remember, it is not your fault that your child is born with autism. It hurts, but you can learn from your child, and comfort others by your experience and knowledge you are gaining. Live each day to your fullest and skip none, you will get through the tough times, and make new adjustments with your child.
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